I read the headline and went, huh, sounds about White before I saw the website.
Damn you The Onion...
this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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dammit Global Tetrahedron you got me good
Got me too. I literally said WTF before I noticed.
the onion is getting really good at "getting" me. they had me again with this article!
That's because reality has caught up with their ridiculousness.
Fuck. They got me too here.
Jesus, ate The Onion again. Right at the edge of believably.
In the 90s, the headlines were absurdist satire, and the point was to laugh at people who could fall for it being a real news publication.
Things like "Woman wins powerball lottery. Buys state of Montana."
NOW the headlines are absurdist satire, and the world has decided to bite the onion SO HARD that real life headlines are just as absurdist and satire adjacent, that you're easily forgiven for not knowing the difference between ketchup and catsup.
Why would you bring that condimental abomination into this friendly discussion?
I call tomatoes god's perfect food, but they can only be pushed so far until they become an abomination before a loving Jesus.
Honestly, this is more a prediction than satire at this point.
The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
Only about a century old. Let's go for another 100.
I had to double check the name of the sub to make sure this wasn’t a real law.
Fucking Onion keeps giving them ideas; the GOP might as well start paying them as policy advisors
......yet
Whaaaat?!..... Oh okay. Nice.