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That property has more rights and protections than people do.
The value of human life, in reality, is much lower than I thought it would be.
Laws and rights are only as good as the people & mechanisms that enforce them. A piece of paper doesn't protect you, people do.
That people often prefer a comforting delusion over the truth, even if it hurts them in the long run.
you don't have to make a living from the thing you enjoy most in life, in fact it's sometimes better not to.
That I will never enjoy the taste of wine.
I figured out I would never like coffee in my teens, and had the same realization about beer in my 20s.
But it wasn't until this year, in my mid-thirties, that I finally accepted that I don't like the taste of wine and probably never will. After years of trying the full spectrum of wines, I had to admit that it wasn't the "notes" that were turning me off, nor was it a problem with the quality of the wine. It was the fundamental "wine-ness" that I disliked, the same as I don't like the "beer-ness" of beer or the "coffee-ness" of coffee.
I've never quite gotten into wine either. I like most stouts and porters. Bit anything too hopy in my bear and it's going in the sink. Shame with the whole IPA revolution going on. Other than that cider and cocktails are the only thing I really enjoy consuming. Everything from the sweet Swedish Briska to the most fermented fresh pressed apple cider goes down without much problem.
People just don't care about you that much, if you go into the street wearing nail polish as a a male presenting person no one will care if you don't act weird about it. Same thing for shaving your legs.
Family might care though, what helped me was understanding that I spend a few days per year with my family maximum, but I spend that whole time with myself. So who cares what they think be yourself.
This helped me start transitioning at 19
I don't want to transition. I am 100% male and this will not change, but I still wanna dress sometimes like a gothic queen. Will happen for Halloween.
But I still feel like people care. Even small changes on me get attention. I guess it depends if you learned lots of peoplr and friends in University or not.
I think when Learning new people, it might have an influence. But idk. I never tried it because I am afraid.
People will often take “I felt like it” or “I thought it looked cool” for an answer. Halloween crossdressing is normal, though yeah some people will wonder if you’re questioning your gender, it’s more because it’s a common safe way to express that and any concern is likely from a desire to help.
And for what it’s worth I’ve known many cis men who like nail polish. Especially as an expression of goth, punk, or emo aesthetics where adopting feminine expressions are seen as cool for guys to do.
It's OK to only do what you KNOW you are capable of doing. Too many people hurt themselves trying to push themselves too hard, when they just aren't ready yet.
Not all rich people are smart, and not all smart people are rich. Seems kind of obvious to me now, but it took me a long time to comprehend this.
The things that don't kill you, do not always make you stronger, but leave you wounded forever.
When I was a little girl I thought that everything, all the abuse and neglect, it somehow made me... special. And I decided that one day I would write something that would make little girls like me feel less alone. And if I can't write that book...
...if I don't, that means that all the damage I got isn't good damage, it's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could've been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for? - Diane Nguyen, BoJack Horseman, S06E10, "Good Damage"
That it's never too late!
Not too late but later than I should have:
And that being gay was bad. It was not conveyed well in our media, and our culture was full of negative connotations with non-heterosexuality. I feel you on this one. Bi people exist, and we're everywhere!
When someone is abusive or hurtful to you, 90% of the time it's not your fault. It's that there is something wrong or something broken in them. They are malfunctioning and it's necessary to understand that.
The other 10%.... Well, own that and fix your mistake.
But a very large majority of the time, it's them being broken and wrong.
Figuring out abusive relationships for me was hard because I knew friends with good intentions, and gave valid criticism but were absolutely brutal about it.
Now I very rarely associate with very insecure people. They are always looking to "prove" themselves, often by putting others down.
They can't just accept someone's accomplishment, they have to go "well actually you got help from so and so..." And always try to undermine your achievements. Extremely mentally exhausting people.
Probably would’ve been nice to know I was trans a few years younger but I started hormones at 20 as did a friend my age who came out at 16, so like it probably would’ve been less consequential than much.
The importance of studying. And related, calculus and how electricity works. Both would’ve saved me a lot of money to have learned 6 months earlier.
Also how to say no to someone trying to negotiate your boundaries and use your kindness to push you into a relationship. I should’ve walked away the second she said she wanted to negotiate my no and that she wasn’t going to give up on pursuing me. That situation fucked me up and wasn’t even the first time someone with insufficiently controlled bpd wound up pressuring me into romantic/sexual situations I wasn’t comfortable with by making it harder to say no than to give what they wanted.
The thing that comes only with age is: to not give a fuck.
When we learn that it doesn't matter we can all be little old people who are purple mohawk headed, wearing clashing neon adidas jumpsuit with zebra primted boas.
I only learned this a few weeks ago at 40 years old, now my hair is blue, both my ears are pierced and I'm a lot happier. I told my 19 year old daughter that "what will people think?" has been my mantra, now it's "fuck 'em"
"at 20, you care the world what everyone thinks of you
At 40 you learn to not care what anyone thinks of you
At 60, you realize nobody has been thinking about you at all, the whole time."
Dad was not lying on top of mum to squash her.
No matter how much 6yr old me was complaining after entering their room early one morning.
The sunk cost fallacy is a very easy way to get stuck being miserable.
Sometimes a drastic change might be painful at the time but will be much better for you overall.
To just invest in broad index funds instead of trying to play the stock market.
Brushing teeth regularly, and flossing , is more important than I ever realized.
I'm a perfectionist and I realized I've been making life too hard for myself. Choosing a low bar for success but keeping the ceiling high has felt like a much healthier approach.
The consultant's proverb: done is better than perfect
Your own happiness is more important that somebody else’s happiness.
Not to say you shouldn’t be nice or help people, or invest in other people’s growth.
But don’t do it to the detriment of your own.
Your high school diploma. Nobody ever asks for it. No job I have ever held has asked for proof that I completed high school which I didn't. My last job had a class they wanted me to take at a night school and that's when they realized I didn't have it after 7 years of competent, exceptional work, so they just shrugged and got me in there anyways
I was never going to "find myself" and so I should have just gone to college with my friends for computer science and made the good money when jobs were easier to get even though I had no interest at all in it. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that jazz. Now I'm a worthless schmuck in a factory living in someone's garage paying their mortgage in rent prices.
All my interests are hobbies, some of them even too expensive for me to do lol they're nothing you can monetize.
All my interests are hobbies, some of them even too expensive for me to do lol they’re nothing you can monetize.
Work is for making money, hobbies are for spending money. I think a lot of people mix that up and lose their enjoyment; money changes your perspective on why you're doing something.
That I have moderately severe to severely severe ADHD and I'm on the autism spectrum.
Makes functioning as an adult quite difficult.
Any work or study done during an all-nighter is a waste.
If you meet someone and all they do is talk about themselves, they won't be a good friend.
Nobody really cares how you look or what you wear. And anyone who does has bigger issues they would rather not deal with.
Any work or study done during an all-nighter is a waste.
Depends. I did some of my best work at this time (private project. not for my actual workplace).
You can just ask people out. You can just ask to kiss someone. I was in my mid 20s when someone told me the first one, and late 20s when someone told me the second one. Dating got a lot easier after each revelation.
You can just ask people out.
I know I can, but you think I dare do that?
Don't buy the cow if you're lactose intolerant.
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free
"Fake it till you make it" doesn't mean pretend to be happy until you are happy. I committed to a relationship I wasn't happy in, a career I wasn't happy in, and hobbies I wasn't happy doing, all because I wanted the approval of others. A divorce, career change, and hobby swap made me much happier.
That it doesn't matter what other people think of me as long as I'm happy.
That in spite of doing my best to care for their mother as she slipped into the madness of depression and alzheimers before dieing last year, that they care about my sacrifice because no one other than me or my brother cared enough about her to help with her care(we did the best we could I know it wasnt enough but at least we were there for her)
But they get to keep her money after kicking us out of the house and selling everything she had so thats cool right?
No matter how hard you try, how loud you cry, some people will never change.
Dynamic programming. I should have just chased a check rather than trying to save the world
Relationships can be anything you want them to be. I wish I spent less time trying to figure out if someone liked me and just tried to have fun with everyone I met.
Compound interest.
I'm not sure it's ever too late to learn anything. Unless you are dead.
But I do wish I'd been able to feel ok about my body as a teenager, the anorexia was harmful to my bones & heart, so I guess technically I learned too late to value my body, or learned it too late to avoid damage anyway, though I'm pretty healthy overall now. I think almost all teenagers are uncomfortable with their looks in some way, at least they were back then.