Malicious Compliance

The policy is you can only work from home when it benefits the company, not you.

As a middle manager in a corporate hellscape, one of my few joys in life is setting logic traps for HR and making them choose between admitting company policy is bullshit or directly instructing me to violate labor laws.

A previous job of mine wanted people in my team to volunteer for being on call overnight for a week at a time.

No-one did, so they forced us. I emailed all managers involved including HR I said that I would like to opt-out for various reasons like family, mental and physical health, and also that the pay was in no way adequate for what they wanted. Again they pushed, so I replied with I'll do it but would be unavailable most afternoons and evenings with my kids and things they have on. That I also won't be able to answer after going to sleep because I take my mental health very seriously and need quality sleep to function.

So the first night I slept peacefully as I normally do as I have my phone set to go to DND automatically. I got called in because I didn't answer a call that came in last night, I asked when it was, about midnight, and said well that's because I was asleep.

Go to the next 2 mangers up, say the same thing and they say that I need to answer. I explain the email stating that I would be unable to answer calls at many times including when asleep and how no-one replied with that being a problem. One of the managers was like, wait up, you flagged this; yup; can you send me the email chain; yup. Got removed and told I wouldn't need to worry about doing it anymore.

It found a new job shortly after that.

"No, not like that!"

Incoming employment terms ammendment:

You can work from home but only to answer us when we contact you. You must answer our contact and must report to the location if requested. If you can do something cheaper (for us the company) and faster (for us the company) then that is the only time you may perform a work duty at home.

And....? How did the story turn out?

Our boss was freaking out over people sometimes doing some private calls during work hours and at a certain point absolutely forbade it. So yeah, people would just end the call at 17:00 sharp and switch off the work phone. It took one week before that rule was rescinded.

Should be the standard anyway. Reading email and texts from work, or responding to calls, is work. Unless your contact specifies on-call hours, you should ignore your boss outside of working hours. If they really want you to respond they can pay you overtime.

I always refused to put work apps on my personal phone because they would make you agree to some bullshit where they could remote access your phone or potentially wipe it. So I would refuse and say they needed to provide a company phone for me if it was that important. Most companies are either ok with this or provide a phone, except for one company. This was a software company, and literally everything else about this company was a unicorn of a job. But for some reason they wanted me to have slack on my phone and also wouldn't give me a company phone. So I dug up an old phone, reset it to factory settings, and added slack to that so I could say I did it. Then I put the phone away and they never asked about it again. So I really don't know what the point of that was 🤷

Keep telling the DBAs that my company outsourced a big chunk of their tech stack to that its against company policy to work all the way on the other side of the planet, but they refuse to show up to the office.

Man we had someone in the army do this. Army doctrine is either outdated or very accessible to the poor, I don't fuckin know, but you aren't required to have a phone.

So this one weird junior Joe just decided he didn't need a phone. Got rid of it, and as a result never got the information he needed on army shit. I loved him for it, and by the law he was in the right. Can't tell him to get a phone.

Unfortunately I was his team lead, and every time my chain of command decided to put out bullshit last minute information over text I had to tell them to suck it and pvt NoPhone wouldn't be at their surprise formation.

Sometimes for important stuff I would have to drive to the barracks and knock on homies door to let him know there's surprise inspections or piss tests and shit.

The workplace should operate entirely without external communication. It worked since the dawn of man, and it should continue to work until the end of man if we want any semblance of work-life balance.

Big "thathappened" energy