A few weeks ago, I was lying in bed. Literally all I was doing was moving to turn and I pulled a muscle in my leg. Getting old fucking sucks.
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My last major back injury was from hanging washing on a clothes horse.
Just picturing someone clothespining their laundry to a horse's mane. Don't correct me please :)
I literally did this opening my fridge lmao. I just wanted olives. :(
You know how they say "kids are resilient" but really it leads to them needing therapy as adults?
I'm convinced a lot of the random physical pains of old age are the delayed effects of those childhood injuries we jumped up from and immediately forgot.
A buddy of mine was talking to his doctor not long after he turned 50 and he was complaining about some random pain. The doctor told him "You know all that stupid stuff you did when you were younger? That's what hurts now."
I’m dubious if a doctor would say that. That could be dismissing types of arthritis that has nothing to do with injury.
Additionally some injuries don’t just immediately stop hurting when you are young. They can linger and get more fragile as you’re older.
The ones that don’t hurt later like stubbing toes, sure. That is realistic. Getting mowed by a car, not so much.that would stick with you.
Partially so, but a lot of adult pain is due to bad posture, and weak muscles from lack of exercise. (Weak muscles don't directly result in pain, but it does mean that stuff like "looking in the mailbox weird", or sneezing, or lifting something off the floor can result in stuff going wrong.)
That is 100% the truth.
Children's bones are more flexible since they are still growing. So they are able to take a beating more than adults.
That is why kicking toddlers is fine! /s
Don't kick the baby!
Kick the frog!
"someday, I want to go to the moon!"
"why wait?" punts
Kicking toddlers is not fine. They're heavy, have weird aerodynamics, and you're likely to throw out your back as a result.
Here I am kicking small humans just coz it's fun! Didn't realise they could take it so well!
I sneezed at an angle this morning and fucked my back up. Also, why the fuck does a large portion of my body and weight sit atop a single column of bones precariously cushioned by jelly and rubbery bits? And if said jelly/rubbery bits get squeezed a bit too hard, the bones smash nerves that control my fucking extremities?
Nature really fucked us.
A horrible thought I heard once and can never get out of my mind:
Our bodies originally had horizontal spines and everything hung down from it. Now we hold our spines vertically, but the internals now all hang wrong.
No idea if true (seems like it's simplifying eons of evolution), but it makes me very uncomfortable imagining it.
It's not very true. Our bodies work fine for a good long time. It may be the cause of some of the problems we get as we age though
Incidentally I have heard (no idea whether it was folk stories or science) that kids who don't crawl (some roll and drag themselves and learn to walk very early) get bad backs young
Most of the great apes are more or less upright much of the time
Nature: Bro, it’s fine. All the other animals will think you’re smarter if you stand up straight. You’ll look really cool too, all tall and hairless and shit. Chicks love that stuff.
I also read that the human baby head is getting bigger while human hip bones are shrinking. Eww...
I sneezed on the toilet and tweaked something in my hip. It still hurts sometimes.
That’s what you get for trying to multitask!
/s
Ah, see the warranty only covers you until you procreate.
From that point on, who cares if your body evolved to crumble into dust immediately after?
In fact kind of a lot of creatures literally die right after creating offspring.
Wrong, at least in most primates a social web around the child formed from the parents, kin, and fellows is evolutionary advantageous
So you're saying that so long as I don't have kids I can live as recklessly as I like and claim the damage on warranty?
This is why we Asexuals live forever.
Mortal skill issue.
So many poor "design choices" in human anatomy. (Note, I know there's no intelligent design).
The optic nerve. External testicles. Lack of decent fur. The way some nerves and blood vessels are routed make zero sense. An immune system that often wants to kill you. The list goes on. I'm sure a biologist or medical person could add plenty more. Many animals have some of these traits, too. If some trait or process is just barely good enough, nature will chug along with it for millions of years. Nature is all about some redneck engineering.
External* testicles are legit really cool though, they change their distance from your body to regulate temperature
*they also can and will retract all the way inside your body if it’s cold enough
Using the same tube for breathing and eating is a classic (I type while choking on my tea)
I'm 50, and a back injury from my 20s is like "Bonjour my friend, we meet again, ho ho!" It does come back to haunt you.
Weirdly, my back injury also has a cartoonish French accent.
I always picture my injuries speaking to me in a French accent.
Mine is always like "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You fell off a skateboard 20 years ago. Prepare to die."
My injuries have a Scottish accent and sometimes they're like "lol tha thu cho gòrach!"
Mine always strolls up to me with a playful smile on his tiny goatee, arms stretched wide across a striped black and white jumper, an accordion begins to play, before he nuzzles up close to my ear and whispers: "ich bin immer dabei, du arschlitrötchen"
I'm 53 and some of my pains have totally disappeared.
Neck used to lock if I twisted my head just right while looking in the mirror. Walked around for 3 days at a time like C3PO. Knee blew out. Broke my femur and that hurt on and off for 10-years. None of that now. Weird.
we need to steal this guys blood
That's really awesome!
I haven't had issues with my back in years (actually maybe over a decade), but it just came back recently.
Legit thought people where being a bit dramatic with back injuries when I was younger, well a few years back and a couple of herniated discs later coupled with sciatica, and... I now think those people where doing very fucking well tbh! Some insanity next level pain!
Exercise everyday, then you at least know you are the cause of your pains.
Light weightlifting and stretching really helped me my back pain.
Do it correctly and consistently. I only go like 2 or 3 times a week. It also helps me sleep better.
Yep I'm on a fairly serious routine but not overboard, basically got it down to about 45min sessions 3/4 times a week (every other day kind of), and I feel better than in my 20s!