this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
312 points (94.1% liked)

Funny

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It's a slow death for me, but a fast death for mankind.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Now I'm not some fancy science-man, but I do reckon that an impact of that magnitude would propel massive chunks of Earth debris in every direction at incredible speeds. Odds seem fairly well even that you'd get your own little impact death pretty well soon after.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The amount of energy it would take to punch a hole through the Earth would probably be enough to kill you from the moon.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (5 children)

"somebody is fucking with me"

The Earth is way too close, and I don't think a meteor strike on the earth, no matter how energetic, would look like a bullet going through an apple.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You assume this is a meteor strike and not some type of planet killing weapon

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

That's no moon.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago

Well… shit.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I'm Polish, so the same thing I say in any situation: "Kurwa".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Such a beautiful language.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But what about the stock market?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

To the moon

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (3 children)

That triangular dust cloud doesn't look right.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Yeah, all parts of this image are in an uncanny valley where you can understand how someone thought the image would read a certain way, but then also it doesn't actually read that way to me at all

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Try to contact the ship that escaped. The one that was being built in silence under false pretenses by people who knew the planet was screwed, but convinced themselves it was better not to cause riots by informing everyone.

Small chance, but the billionaire investors might want to pick me up as a novelty story, or to make themselves feel like heroes

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

"This is the SCP foundation, to all survivors give us five minutes."

Radio static for four and a half minutes

"Okay we are about to do a temporal shift to six minutes ago in a localized portion of space time, 05 council and the Foundation wish you luck."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Eh, both permanent space habitation as well as generation ships are so comically far out of our reach that any effort to escape would be doomed. All the billionaires would have accomplished is that they'd die slower. Unless we had decades of advanced warning and even then it would be a stretch. Additionally, in the latter case there's no need to keep it secret. The world is going to end in 50 years just wouldn't cause as much panic.

Secondly, if you look at the picture, the projectile directly pierces the earth. So it would have to be going extremely fast to accomplish this. So chances are we wouldn't see it coming to begin with.

Thirdly, this sort of direct hit implies intelligence. So, chances are whatever wants us dead would then follow through to ensure they get any survivors. Or not, as I pointed out earlier, all survivors are screwed either way.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

*the general and president walk down the underground corridor

Sir, it's time to reveal to you where all the real NASA money has been going for the past 60 years.

Wait is that-

Yes, alien tech recovered from Roswell.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

That's not how planetary collisions work.

Earth's core is a solid ball of iron-nickel alloy as hot as the surface of the sun. Not even a huge asteroid could just go through it and come out the other side.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (4 children)

The ball on the bottom right, is the earth's core leaving.

BTW, the book Seveneves is worth a read/listen. It covers a scenario of something very very dense passing through the moon.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

The economy!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

silently take delight in knowing all my enemies are dead

I mean you've got to look for positives, right?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Do people have enemies? That seems exhausting.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Arch nemesis... only Arch users have those.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’ll tip my Fedora to that.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

From the looks of it the astronaut was just out of the lunar grocery store starting to walk home for some dinner and down time.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

shit, I didn't bring enough food

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

"Well I'm getting out of this uncomfortable suit!"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

I think this is one situation where I'd be genuinely speechless.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Oh...

...

...

...fuck.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

One small uh-oh for a man, one giant extinction event for mankind.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

'Guess no brunch this weekend.'

or

'Haha, missed!'

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Houston, we have a problem

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Ahh, beans!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Can I shove that up my ass?

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