this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
458 points (96.2% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 115 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If God is real he'd have let me stay illiterate

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

God doesn't come around these parts

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago

I do. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

God is infinitely groovy and infinitely funky, but the Bible forgot to tell you that he is also infinitely getting dividends from his shares of Penguin Books, so he has a stake in this.

[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fake but at least it isn't gay.

[–] cheddar 47 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

touches tits

has a seizure because of that

Gay AF. His body rejected a girl.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Anon is femanon, very gay indeed.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

No such thing

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

There are no women on the internet bud.

[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Lucid dream rookie! If the lucid dream happens, and you're in the same place you fell asleep, well actually if that happens the majority of the time it will become a sleep paralysis episode. But, if it isn't, always teleport yourself the fuck away from the location.

Ain't no way you want to risk that you're too close to being awake (or in this case not asleep at all). I'd wager anon fell asleep, woke up but was having a hypnopompic hallucination, and that explains the text on the board.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I just assumed he was in some foreign language class.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Or maybe just generally illiterate and the greentext was posted via Dictaphone.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Easiest way to know if you're lucid dreaming is to try some magic abilities. I usually try flying out of the window from room I were. This hasn't failed me yet. And anon definitely wouldn't get into this awkward situation with this either.

(only half of this is a joke)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Until you jump out of the window and land face first on concrete

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thats why you just levitate a meter or so from the floor

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

i prefer shitting to the moon

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago

So I'm supposed to believe that OP didn't kill himself right after this happened? Guys, I think this story is fake.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Meh, He should have done a reality check in the first place before doing anything

[–] gentooer 30 points 1 month ago

He did. It was just a poor choice of reality check.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

This would've gone a lot better if anon simply apologised and explained that he was half-asleep. But no, they just had to make it more akward.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

At least Anon got to feel a boob. It might be a while.

[–] AsudoxDev 6 points 1 month ago

Imagine if this was real. Funny af

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

does anyone have lucid dreams that realistic?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

This would've gone a lot better if anon simply apologised and explained that he was half-asleep. But no, they just had to make it more akward.

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