this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2024
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A recent greentext post about an imaginary wife made me think of this.

Have you ever had a dream, where you fell in love with a dream character?

I've had at least a couple over the years that I can vaguely remember. The dreams were so vivid, and the feeling of love for this imaginary person was so strong, that I woke up feeling rather heartbroken and a sense of longing.

Anyone else?

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

I met, fell in love, got married, bought a house, started a family and grew old together with a woman i met in my dreams. In one night, i lived a lifetime. It was so super realistic that I woke up devastated that it was a dream. It took me weeks to stop thinking about it constantly throughout the day, and even to this day I still think about it occasionally going on 15 years later.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You saw that lamp, didn't you?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

I remember that post. Always made me wonder if that really happened or if it was just good story telling.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm so curious now, could someone enlighten me?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's a reference to an old Reddit post where somebody had the same situation I did where they met someone yand fell in love and had long and happy life until they started noticing a lamp in their living room that sidn't look right. Drove them crazy in this dream and eventually forced them to wake up. I'm on mobile and can't find original post ATM but that's the jist.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thank you! That was enough for me to find it I think.

I can definitely relate to this just not as deep of a semi-lucid dream

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Reddit was awesome back in the day. So many interesting slices of life.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Correct. The good years. Now it's just normies en enshittified.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

On the flip side, I once had a super vivid dream that my wife started ghosting me, and left me for someone else. Years passed and I was still alone, lost interest in all of my hobbies, had to get rid of our pets, and I caught up with her randomly and she looked like she was much happier and better off, and I was so upset in the dream that I considered suicide. Woke up and was relieved that it was just a dream, but frustrated with my brain for putting me through all of that.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Played Roy at blips and chitz.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Once, in the middle of a long and happy relationship, I had a dream where there was simply no reference to my partner in the dream, background or foreground. My brain went on to invent a person who was lovely in every way. We were equally crazy for each other and it was absolute heaven.

Then my brain went "yeah but you're with your real life partner so you basically cheated" and I woke up.

Fuckin wiseass brain pullin shit lol

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

I’ve had a few where i was knowingly cheating on my wife. But there were some weirder ones where the dream lady and my wife would be interchangeable at various points or meld into one super lover.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 months ago (2 children)

For a while I had a girlfriend in my dreams, same person every dream, we just did normal things, it was weird as hell, i think she left me tho, haven't dreamt about her in years.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I had a dream that I was driving a horse cart down a dusty gravel road, and riding next to me was the greatest love I'd ever felt - she was a rotund Native American woman.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Was it Jana Schmieding? Because honestly, same.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How do you have the name of a "rotund Native American woman" just hot in the holster?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yes. My dreams are incredibly vivid and I can get confused between them and memories. Most of my dreams are very mundane but sometimes my brain conjures up the perfect scenario to illict and extreme emotional response. I feel like my brains testing to make sure everything still works cause my life is very stable and boring.

The worst one recently was a dream about a faceless women who I seemed to care deeply about getting in a carcrash and dying in front of me. It felt like I had lost everything and all meaning in life was gone. I had to sit with the feeling for what felt like a lifetime. I don't know why dreams do this and would be interested if anyone knew why this happens.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

There are two main theories about why dreams occur.

(Explained in computing terms)

First is scheduled maintenance.

Your brain essentially runs a defrag when you dream, trimming useless information. Most times, you forget about the dream, but other times you'll wonder why you recalled that memory from 15 years ago. Your brain needs to inspect the file before sending it to the trash, but you managed to recover it before it got zeroed (unrecoverable).

Second is threat model assessment.

Your brain is randomly compiling memories while you dream, scanning for useful information. Sometimes a certain combination will leave a strong impression, which gets cached (saved to RAM). These memories are usually bad, and get saved to disk because we're slow at debugging, but are invested in fixing it to avoid a kernel panic (blue screen). We spend so much time thinking about it, that the bad memory's directory gets added to $PATH(bookmarked)

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

First time I ever asked out a girl was after I had a dream like this about her

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

I'm not sure if I've ever fallen in love with a completely imaginary dream person, but I did dream about my ex once years and years after we broke up. I don't remember what I dreamed about exactly, but I do remember waking from it. The happiness fading as the realization set in that it was all a dream -- I was by myself in bed and none of it had been real. I'm usually pretty good at dealing with solitude, but that moment... that was the most intense loneliness I think I've ever felt.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Yes, once. I was incredibly heartbroken and confused for three days. It sparked me going onto dating apps. Where i found my dream wife.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, oddly enough, that Rick & Morty ep hit home. Of all the things, that one hooked me. 🤷🏽‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've never watched that show, could you please elaborate or give me the episode number so I can look up the synopsis?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, the one that play a video game that's an entire life of some other random schmuck. I'm not sure if the episode number or season, but there was another where they revisited the idea, IIRC.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

That's the arcade one. The other one is probably season 4, episode 8, "The Vat of Acid Episode". Morty gets a real-life saving device that allows him to go back to any previous moment in time where he has defined a save. He then falls in love with a girl and lives a long time happily with her, and forgets about the saving device. Eventually, he accidentally goes back to the save point he had made and realized he has lost the relationship with the girl and is again a complete stranger to her. That one hits hard.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, once or twice.

It’s really disturbing, and I generally dislike them because of the emotional leftovers.

The emotion is real, and the worst part is that it tends to stick around. Most dreams you just forget. But for some reason the one or two of these I’ve experienced it has left a longing and a desire to sort of go back to that dream, the person in it, the level of feeling I got, which of course is impossible. I have a family and love them all, so I don’t know why my brain threw this at me. It’s not like I’m lonely.

I wonder what the psychology and brain chemistry is with that. Why your brain makes up the person, the feelings, and why it sticks around when all the other dreams generally vanish.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're just seeing a partner from another slice of the multiverse.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Yeah. But that also means the bad dreams are me suffering somewhere. That’s not so great.

On the plus side, I’m a superhero in at least one and have the power of flight!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Oh yeah often. But there's a decent proportion of my dreams where I'm not me; just some sort of fictional my brain made up for that night.

And about 80% of the time, if there's romance in a dream, it's not me. My brain has trouble fathoming a romantic story with me in it and I can't fault it for it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I have vivid dreams to the point I've had to mourn entire lives that were never even real.

Like Roy from Rick and Morty.

The worst ones are when it was a very fulfilling life and then I have to wake up and accept it never actually happened.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Definitely. Not often, but when I had them, they were strong and affected me for the remainder of the day.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Got no time for love in my dreams - I'm busier with tomato fights, becoming a pig, running from a T-Rex, watching aliens to spit on a tree to wilt it down, and killing a person to resurrect an ancient god.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

You got the t. rex too huh?

That bastard can eat through anything.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Not fell in love per se but I had a dream I was getting married and it was clear my partner and I were really in love. There was a sense of happiness I felt that made the dream feel so real. Was sad when I woke up.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Absolutely. Has been a hot minute though. In my late teens and early twenties I regularly woke up depressed AF knowing that what I just felt was all just a dream.

Haven't had this in the last two decades or so, but you never fully forget the feeling of helplessness as you realize that "bliss" actually exists, but it's perpetually out of your reach.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Yes. In a dream, I fell in love with someone I know in real life now. It was psychologically disruptive. In the dream, we'd loved each other for thousands of years. The emotions did not end upon waking and persist to today to some extent.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yes, those dreams hurt reality so badly. The sense of loss when you wake is pretty aggressive if you already lack a good connection with someone.

Had a dream like that years ago, I still remember it quite well

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

This is one of my most common dreams now. When I was younger it was wild sex dreams. Now it's literally just meeting my dream woman and it goes smoothly.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Yes and I hate it. I've struggled a lot with loss, and my dreams always used to remind me of this. I would wake up from wonderful dreams sobbing because it was a version of life that was just on display. At this point in time though, I have pretty much curbed the commonality of me dreaming.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago (7 children)

No. But lots of dreams about sucking fat dicks.

So... close enough?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Happened once a long time ago, incredibly vivid dream and it was quite nice.

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