this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2024
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It seems more like a job requirement but I feel like it's quite important to me that whoever I date knows first aid.

I imagine someone who hasn't taken a first aid course is still aware of things frequently depicted in movies and TV like how to assist a choking adult or CPR but I feel like it still leaves out a lot.

I can't really recall a lot of media depicting how to treat burns or how to perform first aid on children, cats, and dogs for example so I'm not sure if that would be absorbed to the same degree by cultural osmosis.


Edit: What I meant by my question was if you found out someone you were interested in didn't know first aid and didn't express an interest in it if you'd view it as a negative.

It doesn't necessarily mean you won't date them.

I'm more curious about how important of a factor it would be to people.

I'm not sure why this is being down voted. Do people not care for these kind of questions and want me to delete it?

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Of all the things I would consider, this would be waaaaay down the list, probably between 'can they spell phlegm?' and 'can they tell the difference between different breeds of goat?'

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

1: F-l-a-n. 2: Messi.

How did I do?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Pretty sure it's flem. But I have been known to be wrong in the past.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

If you aren't drinking Oberhasli milk you aren't for me.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Nope. It'd be a great opportunity to teach them it! πŸ˜ƒ

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Is playing House playing Doctor?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If it's so important to you, you should put that in your tinder's bio.

"You need to know how to assist with choking."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

Would you think less of a potential partner if they didn’t know how to chew properly?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Medical problems can cause people to choke or otherwise have difficulty swallowing (dysphagia).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Only helpful for certain types of dysphagia, but yes, very helpful for many.

I was commenting mostly because people are equating choking with being a toddler and not knowing how to chew, which is completely oblivious to the fact that many people have medical reasons that these might occur.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Hold on, adding β€œNo dyphagians” to my tinder bio

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I’m not in the habit of dating toddlers

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

(pssssst, there is an implication of sexy times choking)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Would you think less of a potential partner if they had momentarily lapsed in their reading comprehension?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Nope. But I would get to know how they feel about me discretely explaining jokes they miss so that they can enjoy them too.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

"Must chew with mouth closed" would be another odd one for a Tinder bio

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago

There are so many things that one might want in a partner which are not changeable, that something like this, where it can be taught, shouldn't be high on the list of reasons to reject. If you discuss the issue with someone you're dating and they πŸ’©πŸ’© it, then you might want to reject, but not because of the knowledge they lack but rather because of their insensitivity to your anxiety.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No.

It's a skill that has to be learned. To be learned, one has to have the opportunity to learn it.

That takes time, usually transportation, energy (of the person), and knowing what the quality of instruction is in the area they're trying to learn in.

Picking things up irregularly isn't the same as knowing first aid, though it's here than nothing, and some things are just as good learned that way as formally. Don't need much in the way of lessons to apply pressure to a wound, and that's enough to keep someone alive long enough for someone with more training to get in place. But doing CPR does take a bare minimum of training to be certain of it being effective.

So, nah, I'm not going to think less of someone for not knowing something. Nor for not being well trained at it.

Now, I have insisted that anyone I live with have at least CPR, Heimlich, and stop the bleed under their belt. I can handle anything else, and my crippled ass is the least likely to be out of the house, so it's all about the bare minimum for when I'm injured, or they're out and get hurt so they have time for ems to arrive.

My wife already knew basics from a new parent first aid class she got when her (now our) kid was still in utero. Infant and toddler focussed, but still. My dad still remembers his training from his army days, though some is a little outdated. Our kid has the bare minimum, but plans on taking a more comprehensive course next summer.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

A willingness or interest in it can definitely be considered part of it. I've hard partners that have refused to learn even after times they've witnessed me performing first aid

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

In my country, it's pretty much mandatory to take a first-aid course, so hard to conceptualize that, but I do find it attractive when someone's active in the Red Cross or a volunteer fire department, or heck, actually works in the medical field.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Other than the basics NO.

The exception would be if you are into a lot of outdoor adventure / climbing / mountain biking / hiking where it will just be the two of you on an adventure. Then it is critical.

If most of your life is in a uban setting it isn't a common or critical skill I would expect.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not exactly but my wife’s background in protest medicine is one of the first things that drew me to her

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What is "protest medicine"?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

First aid specifically aimed at the sorts of injuries that one risks by protesting.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks for explaining it. Never heard that term before.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe it might be skillful, but I wouldn't hold it against them personally. They could probably find a bajillion things to hold against me by the same logic, with only my skill in a music instrument being able to serve as an exception based on the technicality it's not an instrument to some people. The second athletic one I mention was almost even an Achilles Heel once during a relationship. So I wouldn't sympathize with judging first aid skills.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

This is a good reminder for me to find a first aid class.

I wanna be sexy...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Depends. If they didn't know how to apply a band-aid then I would think, but if they didn't know how to strap an ankle, make an arm sling, or work a defibrillator I would not think any different of them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Eh, I can think of some context dependencies. I don't have a blanket expectation for first aid knowledge.

For example, I like backpacking. I go on several multi-day trips per year. I don't necessarily need a partner to like backpacking too; I'm fine enjoying my hobby myself or with friends. But if they do like backpacking and haven't done the work of learning an appropriate level of first aid, I will absolutely judge them negatively. People should not go wandering into the backcountry, away from people and cell service, with absolutely no idea how to take care of themselves.

Someone who never has a need to get far from medical experts? Much more understandable to me if they don't prioritize learning first aid.

Basically, don't be a reckless dumbass.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Hey can you give me some starter pointers? I'm going on a bike trip and will also hike in nature and don't have any first aid training.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

To me it's more about helping each other out when accidents or something generally unexpected happens.

Having a stroke doesn't require reckless behaviour.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, I would certainly expect any adult human, not just one I'm in a relationship with, to call for medical aid if they see someone having a stroke. That's basically what first aid for a stroke is; get medical help. I don't think that requires any special training, just not being an asshole.

So expanding upon relationship expectations then: don't be a reckless dumbass and don't be an asshole.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

With the example of a stroke I'd say recognizing the signs of a stroke is part of first aid.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

I guess that's basic grade school Health class stuff where I'm from and I don't consider it "first aid training". So I expect someone to have paid attention in school when they talked about life critical things? Radio, internet, school, TV, so many things blast FAST at the public.

Which still falls under "not a reckless dumbass and not an asshole".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean if that is your relationahip requirement just throw it out there upon connecting, but also just because somebody knows FirstAid does nit mean they will save you, you also need to find out if they can be level headed when it is an emergency situation with a partner. If they panic because it is you in trouble they may be useless.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

A level head is definitely an asset but I feel like having some familiarity with the situation can help.

Even if they don't feel capable of doing anything themselves it should help them identify symptoms of a medical emergency or relay relevant information to medical professionals.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

First how they show to help someone who is choking in tv shows and movies many times is wrong and very dangerous.

No it would not affect how I view them. If I were to try and get someone pregnant and then they refused to learn child cpr, then yeah it might affect how I view them, but I would have that conversation before I tried to get them pregnant. But beyond that exact situation, no it would affect anything.

I'll never try to get someone pregnant and I've not had sex in about 20 years, so getting someone pregnant isn't a possibility.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

If you owned a pet would you want your partner to know what to do if it starts choking?