this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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Facepalm

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Anything that makes you apply your hand to your face.

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[–] [email protected] 293 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

This fuckin' guy. He lives in Newport Beach and was made the CEO of Chipotle, which was headquartered in Denver. Since he didn't want to move to Denver, he laid off almost the entire corporate office and moved it to Newport Beach.

He justified all this by having a consulting company come in and do a study about where the best restaurant talent is in the US. Surprise, surprise. The best place for a corporate office just happened to be right where this assclown lived.

I guess what I'm saying is two things:

  1. Fuck this clown.

  2. Starbuck corporate employees are about to be surprised to learn that apparently Newport Beach has the best coffee talent in the country.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It all makes sense now, why the headquarters is close to Boeing Field. Remember, patronize your local coffee shop, no matter how cheap this shit gets. I live in Seattle, btw.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago

Consultancy firms know where their bread is buttered. In cases like this one, they're not much more than professional yes-men in suits.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah fuck Seattle. All they ever did was revolutionize the entire coffee industry 2 separate times, and foster talent for generations of musicians. I guess they're also great at culinary experiences, art and culture, and maritime history. Oh and tech. They kind of dominated the tech industry for 40 years. But nothing else! Fuck that place! All hail Newport Beach!

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[–] [email protected] 138 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Life on earth isn't going to last much longer if we tolerate these types of people

[–] [email protected] 84 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Unfortunately a significant proportion of the population idolizes these parasites because they think they too could be billionaires if they just lick those boots hard enough.

As long as we keep pretending conservatism is a valid political ideology, things will only get worse

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 weeks ago

As long as we keep pretending conservatism is a valid political ideology, things will only get worse

Hear, hear

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

There's nothing wrong with conserving. There's everything wrong with whatever the fuck people who call themselves conservatives today are.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This comment, in reference to anything but parasitic sociopaths who exploit others for their own benefit, would be very troubling.

But because this is targeted at a billionaire asswipe, I have to say I agree wholeheartedly.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Unfortunately, people don't usually tolerate my brand of intolerance towards people actively making the world shittier.

A quick drop and a sudden stop pretty effectively neutralizes any future plans billionaires can make.

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Also don't forget that remote work bad!

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Just don't buy Starbucks and this MF will magically disappear. It's terrible anyway...

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I started boycotting Starbucks when I learned they had partnered with Nestle for store-bought products - their Sumatra and Komodo Dragon coffees were pretty good.

I send an email every year or so to let them know, since boycotts aren’t effective if the group being boycotted doesn’t know why, with predictably apathetic responses.

Anyway, if you’re a no-Nestle person then Starbucks is on the list…

[–] gentooer 15 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I started boycotting Starbucks since the first time I tasted their coffee. Espresso isn't supposed to taste like burning tyres. I don't understand how they can charge so much for dogshit coffee.

It's not impossible to make a chain of coffee houses that serves decent coffee, Espresso House did it in Sweden.

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

CEO's are the pox upon this planet! They are only here to maximize profits in anyway possible wich usually means fucking over everyone they can

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

Remember they only have to maximise profits because of the exorbitant salaries they demanded.

The profits were already there before they took them, and now they want the customers to increase their profits so they can hand that to their shareholders

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

I'd say in general sure, but I've known some CEOs of small companies who really do care. They just never make it to massive companies, probably because they aren't willing to do the horrible shit needed to "take it to the next level."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

I think cancer is a better analogy.

Like cancer cells, billionaires are part of the system that just keeps on trying to grow and hoard all the resources, hurting and damaging the organism

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

I realize as a mere pawn in the giant corporate chess game I have no right to ask this question.

But how in the ever loving fuck is this man providing that much value that he can justify this kind of action. There wasn't another candidate for the job that could do 90% of the same work, but was willing to live in the same zip code as their employees and save the cost and emissions of this commute? I guess this man will result in the most profit for shareholders. I can't even comprehend how someone can justify it, though.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

This is really about class and a small club of inside people who are wealthy and have a lot of shit cornered.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

His "value" is he can schmooze and stroke egos

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I'd boycott them but I haven't had Starbucks in years.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It should honestly be a disqualifying demonstration of bad decision making.

You can either put in a lot of effort straight away (saving time and effort later), or delay the inevitable, pay quite a large sum in transport costs every day, and have to do infinite airport runs?...

Choosing the latter shows he shouldn't have the job.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

But he make number go up! Him good CEO! Ugh guh. EBITDA unk chick-ken

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Honestly it shows a lack of commitment. By refusing to relocate it shows he’s not planning on staying.

Come in, axe some heads, “streamline” and “cost cut” whilst gutting indispensable roles that have invisible contribution. Stock gets attention, lines goes up, he gets his bonus payout; it’s a classic CEO shuffle pump and dump.

Or maybe he’s their agreed scapegoat for their increasing union busting. Either way, he clearly has no plans to stay with the company long term.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

That guy's private jet is gonna crash with him in it.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

We need sky orcas to deal with the sky yachts.

I'm thinking armored California Condors? Maybe highly trained pods of Bald Eagles, with cybernetic enhancements.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Pigeon mounted nuclear arsenal

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Fuckin' hope so.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fuck this guy. The only thing I think of when I see his face is that god awful video he did about Chipotle's portion sizes.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

On the bright side, every time he flies there’s the risk he gets into in a plane crash.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Fuck Nestle.

And since Starbucks is owned by Neste: Fuck Starbucks.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Starbucks is a publicly traded company owned by its shareholders. But still, fuck Nestle. Also fuck Starbucks for being union-busting asshats.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Can he commute via billionaire submarine instead?

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago

Stuff like this is why I hate these companies so much. Yeah mate I'll use a paper straw for your overpriced coffee to save the environment, you can continue to come to your office in a fucking plane everyday.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

The crazy thing is that when I try to put myself in their shoes, it would be hell to commute to an office by a plane, even if it had all the luxuries in the world, 5 days a week. That's like 5 hours wasted every weekday. If I had private jet money I'd just work from home or if that's not possible, buy a house a walking distance from the office.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

alright guys, lets not get into paper strawman arguments here

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

I went to starbucks and bought a large reusable plastic cup that I'll probably never use again... I helped save the planet!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Not that I would be surprised, but source? I don't get my news from images that anyone can throw together.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I saw a news article about this pop up on my feed earlier - which had more info. He's not actually commuting every day. Just 3 days a week. They're also building an office for him in Newport for him to work out of.

Fuck this guy.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

what dude cant pay for a fancy hotel or something? seriously?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

When do we get to eat this guy?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

I used a paper straw once, it fucking melted in my drink because paper doesn't work well with liquids

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 weeks ago (23 children)

I remember when Maccas stopped using straws in France.

They just printed on the cup - "We've stopped using plastic straws. To drink, remove lid. You're not an infant"

Don't suppose that'd work in a country of insufferable crybabies though lol

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

They work fine, what you encountered was a cheapo shitty paper straw.

proper ones are quite thick, more like a cardboard tube, and will start to go sliiiiightly soft when your drink is finished anyways.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

What a bitch, fuck him with a traffic cone!

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

i'll be genuinely surprised if he lasts a year, especially with schultz standing over his shoulder

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