this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 37 comments
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[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I totally didn’t see this somewhere and start writing it on the walls in middle school:

Those who write on shithouse walls

Roll their turds into little balls

Those who read these words of wit

Eat those little balls of shit

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have some questions about the events being described here, but I think its best not to ask.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

Too late, turd eater

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

I heard it as

"In days of old,

When knights were bold

And condoms weren't invented,

They put their socks upon their cocks

And babies were prevented."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Yeah that's the one I know, though I think it sounds nicer with the wording I know:

"A sock was placed upon the cock, And babies were prevented"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

The knights of old beat off into socks.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not enough doodle cocks & swastikas.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And that mobius strip style "S" thing

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's called the cool S. Be respectful

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

From a porta potty: Here I sit Tired and dirty Trying to hide Until 4:30

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Yea this one got a genuine laugh out of me. Poor soul.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Here's some toilet poetry I read once:

Some come here too sit, think, and write on the walls. I come here too shit, stink, and scratch my hairy balls.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Wie Adolf Hitler throne ich hier, die braune Masse unter mir.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago

public unisex bathroom: "our butts have touched <3"

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

i used to fold a paper towel into a kind of bubble box and get it wet. then i'd throw it hard onto the ceiling where it would stick for about a minute. then i would wait for it to fall on someone coming in and i'd giggle for decades about it.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Here I sit, all broken-hearted

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago

Thought I'd shit, but only farted

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Tried to shit, but only farted

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Then one day I took the chance

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Tried to piss, but my ass parted

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Paid a penny, but only farted

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

..and the Shithouse Poet strikes again!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

..and the ~~Shithouse~~ Latrine Poet strikes again!

They changed their name to "Latrine". Sometime in the 9th century I believe.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

It's a good change!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

in Germany it's the other way around.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

…the road lays a load upon you?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Wie der Führer sitz ich hier
Die braunen Massen unter mir

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

In diesem Klo da wohnt ein Geist, der jedem in die Eier beißt.

Mich hat er nicht gebissen, ich hab ihm auf den Kopf geschissen.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ich kenne das mit "In diesem Klo, da wohnt ein Geist, der jedem, der zu lange scheißt, von unten in die Eier beißt."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Am unteren Ende der Klowand, dort wo sie zum Durchwischen aufgeständert ist:

Vorsicht vor dem Limbotänzer!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

We have a variant in Dutch.

In de pot zit een geit die graag in je kont bijt

Mij heeft hij niet gebeten want ik had op zijn kop gescheten.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

This is estonia, speak estonian please.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It’s the same person, they wrote on both walls

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE SHITTER!!!