this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2024
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Atheist Memes

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Simple really:

  1. A talking snake with legs convinced Eve, who was made from a rib, to eat a fruit that made her realize she was naked.
  2. ???
  3. Jesus had to be born of a woman, obviously.
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

step four: preach about the sins of being wealthy and hold out your hand with a cheesy grin.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

profit after this?

Or is there a step five, just waiting to reveal itself, in all it's impossible glory?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

that's the neat part. these marks are so stupid, you just keep your hand out there and they buy you new-model private jets.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If god created the whole universe. Why did he also create the snake in the first place? Was it because he wanted us to have to overcome evil tempations? Or did evil exist before hand, meaning god didn't create everything in the universe?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Either he's omniscient and omnipotent and everything has happened exactly as he intended, proving he's an asshole, or he's not and lied about it, proving he's an asshole.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I've never heard that the snake had legs, what's that from?

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

ThE LoRd WoRkS iN MyStERiOuS WaYs!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Let’s just be honest here,

They kinda gloss over exactly how Mary got preggo.

I’m just wondering, did he pull a Zeus and show up as one variety of animal or another?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Virgin birth was meant as born without sin. So she did the mortal nasty

Which makes the whole Religious Right trying to paint it as her being magically pregnant all so they can make sex ebil even more hilarious

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean.. Jesus DID had brothers and sisters, both from the same mother and some side work Joseph had with another woman.

Sin eventually caught up.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well don't tell the Catholics that. They believe she's still a virgin.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Could you imagine being raised in that house?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

yup. the question is.... did he show up like a swan. maybe a horse (poor marry. so unsatisfying,) or maybe something else. (tentacles seem like they could be fun.)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Virgin in this context means unwed.

But good luck convincing a Christian of that ;-)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (4 children)

"The angel came in unto her."

Interpret that as you will.

  1. The angel came through the door and into her abode?

  2. Or the angel CAME into her vagina?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I've had a lot more fun with Bible stories since I started subbing in "teenage Jewish hoodlums who know how to get shit done" every time "an angel of the Lord* appeared. I mean, why would actual magical angels need blood painted on doors to know which houses to avoid? Hoodlums, however, can use a code like that. Or how about removing the tombstone and telling the Marys " why do you look for the living amongst the dead?" That's a place for a bunch of enthusiastic, anti-empire teenagers if I ever saw one.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Got turned into a little sperm and inseminated the egg that way.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Maybe it was just the tip thing.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

He ran out of 9th level spell slots and had to use an 8th level slot to create Jesus.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (10 children)

The question really starts before that. Yahweh is supposed to be "omnipotent" or "all powerful". So, why was The Christ necessary at all? If Yahweh could shape reality just by saying things and they became real, couldn't he just say "I forgive you" and "Original Sin" would be forgiven?
So either Yahweh isn't all powerful and there is some greater power to which he is subservient; or, Yahweh just wanted to dip his dick in an unwilling woman to create his son/self to torture to death. All hail Yahweh!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Apparently bro has a pretty serious code of conduct and adheres to it to a T

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Give the guy a break, it was his Hot Girl Summer, he just wanted to experiment.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Because it's all made up, and the points don't matter.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

It's harder to bullshit society about events that happened after they've developed writing.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Because he already ate all of the spare ribs.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (5 children)

It's simple, God was actually Aliens, and Adam was an android while Jesus was a human, so they had to inseminate real woman in his case.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Who was the fake woman they inseminated in the other case?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am an atheist, but this doesn't seem like a strong argument to me. The answer seems clear: He wanted Jesus to be partly human due to all that stuff about sharing our sins and so forth. It's nonsense to me, but it appears to make sense to believers.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I'd tap that.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That obviously means that god is a woman, right?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Alanis Moresette actually.

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[–] JackbyDev 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

While I agree this is funny (and am aware this is a meme community) I'd be careful to not use this as an argument. Nowhere does it say the only way God could've sent Jesus was through a virgin birth.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

The same reason why Leia Organa remembers her mother despite her dying in Revenge of the Sith - the power of retconning sometimes has its... drawbacks

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I always imagined she "remembered" through her force sensitivity; not unlike Dune's genetic memory concept

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

God finally busts a nut and y'all want to shame him.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It was premarital sex, so he deserves it for breaking the 10 commandments.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Jesus was “created” as deity incarnate (need the flesh to make the flesh) and Adam as a divine being(given free will as a divine creation…until he chose the wrong thing)?

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