this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2024
978 points (98.2% liked)

Programmer Humor

18540 readers
1471 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 224 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Haha I remember the days of downloading random EXEs off the internet and running them to see what they do (also the days of CD-rom drives).

My auntie somehow managed to get a virus that played Für Elise through the motherboard speaker and never stopped so long as the thing was on. I don't think they ever solved it, in the end they just got a new PC.

[–] [email protected] 163 points 1 month ago (6 children)
[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

When I read it, it stirred a distant memory of hearing such a story before, so I knew that there was something behind it and looked it up.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Literally why would someone make that. That is completely indistinguishable as a signal.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean I guess you are supposed to take it to your computer repair shop and tell them it won't stop playing Für Elise, and the shop is supposed to recognise it as a failure of CPU fan signal. If it just beeped a few times on startup then people would ignore it, and if it beeped constantly then well maybe Für Elise is nicer.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Huh yeah that's MUCH better than throwing a post code and playing a beep during startup to signal something is wrong.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (16 children)

Sadly, many motherboards don't have POST code displays.

load more comments (16 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I’m impressed that the computer was usable with the failed CPU fan.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (9 children)

Computers in 97 didn't need much in the way of cooling. A large passive heatsink was plenty for those CPUs. They're not the 300+ watt behemoths we have today.

load more comments (9 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Reminds me of the Apple version of Karateka, which did something special if you inserted the floppy disk upside down.

https://www.theverge.com/2021/7/5/22564151/karateka-apple-ii-upside-down-easter-egg

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Drain.exe would say "water in drive a:, commencing spin cycle" then power up the drive and make a gurgling sound.

Sheep.exe ... would create a sheep that would wander the desktop.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Haha, in highschool I put sheep.exes into the school labs startup folders as a prank once. A couple days later the tech teacher approached me and was like "nobody's in trouble but these things are a nightmare and if I have to reimage half the lab to get rid of them it would personally ruin my day". Somehow all the sheep were gone by the next day

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Ah shit the sheep thing! In fact, there were others I can't remember. And I seem to remember somewhere along the line they went from fun to spam things walking around your screen trying to make you buy shit or maybe they were trying to scam you, I can't remember but they weren't fun anymore, and hard to get rid of.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

There was also a program that would open the CD-ROM drive and play a raspberry noise at random intervals. It was a fun prank to set it to run at login.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Motherboards have speakers?

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are you trying to make me feel old?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Back in my day, that used to be the only way a computer could produce sound. Later on you could purchase a specialized sound card that would take up a slot in your motherboard.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought I was the cool kid when I got my SoundBlaster 16!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

They do, but it’s a very simple speaker that’s really more of a buzzer than what you might think of as a speaker.

Many motherboards use a combination of beeps to report hardware errors if you fail on power on.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 143 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I remember there was a virus that had a tiny cat on the screen and it would chase your mouse cursor. Once it catches your mouse cursor, the computer would crash. It was freaking awesome.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (11 children)

That's based on a harmless Unix game that you can install forks of which on modern day Linux as well, by the way

load more comments (11 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 91 points 1 month ago (4 children)

man i miss these days.

These days not only would it open your CD drive, it would open your tax documents, your crypto wallet, your account cookies, probably even your banking information.

The modern internet fucking sucks dude.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Put the rose tinted glasses to one side. We still had harmful viruses back in the day, difference is these days you are storing more private information "online" so the effect of compromise is larger.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Back then, there were still lots of "wipers" that deleted files and/or destroyed the OS. Now it's all spyware and ransomware.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh don't worry, malicious .exe files were all over the forums back then.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 75 points 1 month ago (5 children)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

This was a common April Fools prank back in my day. We would put a startup script on a person's computer that opened their CD drive at random intervals. Drove them nuts!

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pretty sure this has been around since the mid 90s

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

Classics are timeless by definition. You witness the adolescence of culture.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I have a folder of "pranks" like these from way back and they were harmless but sure enough they fire off modern anti virus software.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I made one called "crash_bandicoot.exe" that opened the windows calculator in an infinite loop.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How about the one that launched a dialog box: "Do you have a small penis? Yes/No", and if you moved your mouse near the "No" button, the button would run away around the screen?

Man, good times.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Odd, that button always worked for me.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

That joke was constant in the early 00s.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I remember a guy who tied his baby’s rocker to the drive and wrote code to open and close the CD drive repeatedly lol. Fun times.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Hmm. Did the motor last? It's obviously not built to provide that much torque/force, although I can't say for sure it would be damaged by it.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did people download .exe files in 2006? We were so innocent.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

& .bat s & ZIPs

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

An old fashioned meme but it checks out

load more comments
view more: next ›