this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
305 points (95.3% liked)

LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[โ€“] [email protected] 118 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is actually a pretty good post

[โ€“] [email protected] 62 points 5 months ago

Right it's still reeking of the usual LinkedIn vibe ("my infinite wisdom will change your life!") but at least it's factual stuff and humorous.

[โ€“] [email protected] 95 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I mean I kind of get the metaphor and appreciate the idea of being the kind of leader that people can feel comfortable around, but there's got to be better ways of expressing that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 66 points 5 months ago

Farting is a metaphor for when you actually fart.

[โ€“] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Depends on how you define "better".

More polite? Sure. More relatable to a wider audience? Honestly, probably not. Everyone farts. And those who don't are dirty dirty liars.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

everyone farts? not anymore!

MEND BUTTCHEEKS

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Would you have read it all the way through otherwise? I wouldnโ€™t have.

[โ€“] [email protected] 50 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I was expecting the twist to be that fart was an acronym. Like:

Fess up
Admit mistakes
Reassess direction
Time-bound

A good leader is willing to have a F.A.R.T. discussion.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Fess up

I shat my pants

Admit mistakes

I thought it would just be a fart

Reassess direction

I should probably not go to that meeting right now

Time-bound

I have 90 seconds until that shart starts to leek out of my pants

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Them who S.M.E.L.T it D.E.A.L.T. it!

[โ€“] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago (2 children)

This is why I fart constantly whenever I'm in the office. Not only am I asserting dominance, but I'm setting an example for the junior engineers.

[โ€“] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

Fart for the position you want, not the position you have.

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Broke: not farting in the office

Woke: farting in the office

Bespoke: sharting in the office

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

#3 is why I keep a backup outfit stashed under my desk.

[โ€“] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

I fart in my bossโ€™s general direction.

[โ€“] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's totally something Michael Scott would say.

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And in true Michael Scott fashion, below the veneer of inappropriate immaturity, there is nascent wisdom.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

But then he accidentally shits himself trying to fart and you forget all about that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I have noise cancelling headphones and am used to working mostly at home. Sometimes I wonder if I've ever accidentally ripped a doozy in my cube without realizing it.

[โ€“] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

I accidentally hit my vape when we experimented with BTO at my last employer. Luckily, I was the first one in and the back door was nearby, so I just rushed outside to exhale. Vaping at home while working had become my norm.

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Somebody may have been huffing their own farts a bit too much.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How to lose my respect on day one.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Are your respect based on the ability to contain flatulence? You do you, I just hope that any lactose intolerant people around you stay away from that sweet lactose :P

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Is someone still running the cloud to farts plugin from the early 2010s?

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I remember it as cloud-to-butt

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Can you please just use the word Vulnerability instead?

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Vulnerability? I thought it was about nukes.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

How much you wanna bet the author of that post also has a fetish for farts?