this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 164 points 6 months ago (4 children)

And then everybody clapped

[–] [email protected] 119 points 6 months ago (1 children)

We need a bot that comments this for every single greentext

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That sounds fun. How hard could it be?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (6 children)

Every script kiddie after a single class in uni knows how to make one. That's why reddit had so many annoying bots that did fuckall but tried to be funny.

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I don't see why it would be fake, there's nothing unbelievable about it. I mean it is a greentext but there's no reason to, y'know

[–] [email protected] 56 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Anon has a wife

Red flag right there

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There's also a point where you don't have to care. It's a good story and you can enjoy it on that basis.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago (4 children)

whats a clap and how do i get one?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

Sink a putt at a golf competition.

Those golf groupies will give you the clap.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Nah there's a grain of truth to this. If you don't have lesbians in your social circle, you're fucking stupid and missing out big

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Now taking applications for lesbian friends.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

I know one.

She's Canadian, and is homeschooled.

She travels a lot, and doesn't have a cell phone.

[–] [email protected] 140 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 69 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

I've always loved that the dickhead king is the same actor as the goofy boss from Super Troopers.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago

for once it actually is gay when you say that

[–] [email protected] 98 points 6 months ago (21 children)

This is why, as a straight dude, I wholeheartedly support everyone in the LGBTQ+ community. They're people, just like everyone else, and I'm sure there's some that are just terrible people, but on the whole, they're just folks trying to find their happiness just like everyone else.

I consider myself an ally, and I'll use any power I have to promote equality for everyone; whether that entails voting against people who would take their rights away, or try to silence them or whatever, speaking out against tyranny or judgemental asshats... It doesn't matter.

IMO, we are people first. Your choice in name, pronouns, gender identity, sexual orientation, etc, are all secondary to the fact that you are a human person deserving of all the same rights and privileges afforded to everyone else.

My favorite (tongue in cheek) comment, specifically about (gay) marriage is that LGBTQ+ people should have the right to be just as unhappy as the rest of us, in marriage.

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I do not care how true or untrue this may be.

Upvote for wholesome.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 78 points 6 months ago

"Let's call her Elise" clear redditor giveaway.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Lesbian friends are eternal

Isn't that the new My Little Pony movie?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

They are still after me, generations have passed and those lesbian friends of my great great great great father do not how to quit

I tried stabbing, burning, decapitation, even slicing them up in little pieces using a blender. They always return

I do not know how much longer I can take it, this bloodline needs to end with me, it is the only way for the curse to end. The curse of the eternal lesbians

.* becomes gay .*

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 6 months ago (4 children)

You could say it's over Für Elise

[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

But he already did, whatcha gonna do now?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

I will stridently, and with great determination, do nothing at all.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 6 months ago

I don't care whether this story is true or not but I can absolutely confirm that lesbian friends fucking rock

My friends have reciprocated every ounce of support I've given, have helped be to better myself, boosted my confidence, have given me perspectives on life and interpersonal interaction that I otherwise may have been blind to, and are generally wonderful to be around.

Sorry to rant just really love my friends and wanted to tell people they are missing out although of course your experience may vary

[–] [email protected] 41 points 6 months ago (6 children)

I had a girlfriend in my 20s that used to hook up with other girls. For some reason I never considered that cheating and never cared. No idea why it never bothered me.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Relationships are all different and unique. Something that's cheating to you may not be to this relationship, or vice versa. I'm a proponent of open relationships, with good communication - if we discuss it and there's no deception, it's not cheating.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Traditional relationship models are so weird.

Making up all these different definitions of “cheating” vs “emotional cheating” and distinguishing them from other instances of hurtfully not honoring agreements.

It's just that: people have an agreement with each other and one of them expressed that it's very important for them emotionally for the other to honor it. Then the other didn't. That expectedly hurts.

Why is there a special word when the agreement is about sex?

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Maybe polyamory is something for you

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (6 children)

I’m in my early 40s with four kids now and that seems like way too much work lol. To be clear though, I definitely would have considered it cheating if she was with another dude. It was just with other women it wasn’t an issue at all for me.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

My thoughts exactly. My wife loves being with other women, and we both like mff relationships, so we just got a girlfriend. Solves so many problems and makes raising a kid together so much easier with an extra set of hands. Makes the various medical issues between all of us easier to deal with.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Even in cases where it ends a relationship, there's something slightly less bad about a partner cheating on you with a gender different than your own. "What do they have that I don't have?? Oh, right, a vagina and boobs/a dick."

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

Yeah that probably has a lot to do with it now that you mention it.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

If my spouse was on 4chan, yeah I’d too do everything to destroy them forever

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Never been physical with any non-lesbians wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold_star_(slang)

Edit: tangentially related, is markdown broken? My embedded links link to my instance’s post function and that’s… undesirable.

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