this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
1401 points (98.3% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 162 points 5 months ago (4 children)

And then everybody clapped

[–] [email protected] 118 points 5 months ago (1 children)

We need a bot that comments this for every single greentext

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That sounds fun. How hard could it be?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Every script kiddie after a single class in uni knows how to make one. That's why reddit had so many annoying bots that did fuckall but tried to be funny.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Like that stupid reminder bot.

Jokes one everyone; it doesn’t work anymore. What happy day that was.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Reminder bot at least had a purpose and had to be manually triggered by someone to act. I'm talking about the annoying ones, like the spelling bot, it just scraped as much as it could, looked for common spelling errors and corrected people. Good thing bots were getting banned left and right. People aren't original. When on /freefolk the Bobby bot got successful via a meme, there were like 10 other copycats the next week, made by people who didn't know that nobody called the character "bobby" unless they wanted to invoke it. So then, a bot would pop up for writing Tyrion, Cersei, Tywin, etc, which were used always, since it was a fandom subreddit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I liked the spelling bots. You can always just spell "you're" correctly. Or never use it and just use "you are" every time you can.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Okay, whatever, you liked them. The reality of it was - it was a spammy bot that wasn't useful, funny or neccessary.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

I'm talking about the annoying ones…

Yes, the stupid reminder bot where all you had was RemindMe! In the comments multiple times adding nothing to the conversation.

It’s as annoying as “bump” in forums back in the day.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

I actually liked it

[–] [email protected] 55 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I don't see why it would be fake, there's nothing unbelievable about it. I mean it is a greentext but there's no reason to, y'know

[–] [email protected] 56 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Anon has a wife

Red flag right there

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Also a gf. And a friend. Triple flag

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

There's also a point where you don't have to care. It's a good story and you can enjoy it on that basis.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Even if it didn't really happen to whoever wrote it, you know it's really happened to someone at some point.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (4 children)

whats a clap and how do i get one?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Sink a putt at a golf competition.

Those golf groupies will give you the clap.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Go to a really shady strip club, you might find some clap there. More likely if you pay with meth.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Nah there's a grain of truth to this. If you don't have lesbians in your social circle, you're fucking stupid and missing out big

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Now taking applications for lesbian friends.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

I know one.

She's Canadian, and is homeschooled.

She travels a lot, and doesn't have a cell phone.