this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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[–] emptyother 87 points 6 months ago (2 children)

And if he doesn't, thats a "loss" for some reason. Nothing is actually lost mind you, there is no 7.5 trillion pounds of baby meat in a dump somewhere.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Nevertheless, we've fired the CEO and given him 6 billion pounds of baby meat for failing.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago

And he gets another sweet gig with another big company because he's got "experience"

[–] sukhmel 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It was a loss because the CEO had already received an MBO in percentage of planned growth

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Reminds me of the Reddit CEO who was sobbing that Reddit is not profitable (and that's why they had to block 3rd party apps) while receiving a $200 million salary.

[–] sukhmel 44 points 6 months ago

Obligatory xkcd/605

showcueball shows a graph with two data points for yesterday and today and a linear graph through them, saying "AS YOU CAN SEE, BY LATE NEXT MONTH YOU'LL HAVE OVER FOUR DOZEN HUSBANDS. BETTER GET A BULK RATE ON WEDDING CAKE."

[–] sukhmel 24 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

My calculations show that around the age of 80 he will be massive enough to turn earth into a black hole if evenly distributed onto its volume

Edit: actually by the age of 30, because I misread the current age to be 12 months

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

And how will this affect the stock price?

[–] sukhmel 9 points 6 months ago

Positively, probably, as the stock will get to the moon literally and long before that moment

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Oh shit, the economy!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If that's with it evenly distributed, then with all that weight as a virtual point source due to the difference in size between the baby and Earth, wouldn't the baby collapse to its roche limit even faster? And as long as it's not a kuggleblitz (that's def not spelled right) black hole it would quickly consume the Earth and grow even larger, right?

[–] sukhmel 3 points 6 months ago

Yes, but then we would better use human body density to determine the size of an object, it's not going to be realistically (lol) a point source anyway and will take longer to become a black hole, I think 🤔

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago

They also expects if a woman can give birth to a baby in nine months, nine women only need one month to "produce" a baby. Or even just eight or seven women, because of synergy effects.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

These people think the only kind of growth is exponential.

[–] sukhmel 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Because they don't know anything that grows faster than exponential, and anything that grows slower doesn't look as good in the reports

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Slower growth is worse than faster growth. I want 10 million next week not next year.

This kind of capitalism is a disease.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

6 lbs., 13 oz. at birth for anyone wondering.

7.5 trillion = 7.5x10^12

40 three-month intervals in 10 years

P = Pounds at birth

P x 2^40 = 7.5x10^40

P = 7.5x10^40 / 2^40

P ≈ 6.82 lbs.

P ≈ 6 lbs., 13 oz.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago

Now, if that isn't some sound empirical reasoning, I don't know what is!