this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Put it wherever TF the socks go that disappear after doing laundry. You’ll never see it again.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

In the sock dimension.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (3 children)

shove it in my ass

....allllllllllllll the way up

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

In a box of similar looking paperclips

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Since others have taken the in-their-ass approach already: inside my microphone. The end unscrews, which isn't really obvious unless you fuck with it. I used to hide my prescriptions in there to get them past room checks at my old boarding school.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Put it in a box with other paperclips on my office desk.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Stick it in the dirt of one of the 130 plants in my place

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Pull a kitchen drawer open all the way and stick it to the bottom of the granite with a bit a blu-tack

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Does the paperclip need to stay in shape?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I straighten the paper clip and sound it

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Depends wether I need to find it later myself. If yes then I'd probably remove a baseboard and put it behind it next to the nail so you can't even use a metal detector. If I don't need to find it then I'd drop it down the crack under my bathroom doorstep which leads to the subfloor space where you're never going to find it again.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Down a plastic drain pipe. Fish it out with a magnet on string 24 hours later.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

My partner has lots of jewelry and wire-wrapped things so... turn it into a wire-wrap piece and mix it up with the other few thousand.

My man, if you can sort through all of that in 24 hours AND find the paper clip you can keep the 10k

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Straighten it, cut it into as many tiny pieces as possible with wire cutters for 4 minutes, then spend the last minute spreading them around random places in the carpet, vents, lawn, etc.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I'll hide a bunch of them at different places along with the target. So that they lose confidence or keep looking for similar places every time they find the wrong ones.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

slip it in the vent of a random heavy appliance like the fridge

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I'll assume the detective can use an x-ray device so I guess somewhere it won't stand out.

Maybe jam it into the frame if a sliding window.

Maybe into the body of the old wood stove.

Maybe jammed into the basket of the subwoofer.

Maybe wrapped inside a bayonet cap of a light bulb.

Maybe poked into a tube of the metal bed frame.

Maybe wedged into the mechanism of an old vcr.

Maybe in a gap between two corrugated iron sheets on the roof.

I dunno.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Eat it. There's only so much that fits on a paperclip.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Alternately, you could stick it in a tomato, or similarly squishy food item, inside your fridge.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I just drop it in one of my "unsorted stuff" drawers.
I don't have to be able to find it again to claim the money, right?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (8 children)

In my jean jacket pocket. I could just move around with it.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

They'll have to go through me to get it, because I'm eating it.

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[–] pkill 5 points 7 months ago

unscrew a screw from the wall, put it in some spare space behind it, screw again

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

3d print a flower pot with a pause in the job. Drop the clip in a cavity in the vase with some glue so it doesn't rattle around, resume the print job to finish and seal it inside, put some plants in there.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Buy 10,000 paperclips and scatter them throughout the house. Hide the target one somewhere obscure. It'll take more than 24 hours for him to find the exact right one.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Taped to my balls.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

I don't know how plumbing works, but I think this would work:

I'd empty the hair from my hairbrush, tangle the paperclip in it and put the clump down my shower drain. Hair clump keeps it from draining away keeping it "in my house." Retrieve after with one of those spikey stick snake things. Spend the remaining 3 minutes touching other hiding places to throw the detective off the scent.

If that doesn't count as in the house I'd probably just slip it into a pocket of a coat in my closet. I doubt they'd think to check every pocket of every item of clothing. They're probably checking all the vents and window panels and little holes in my walls, and I don't think they'd catch me because I go in my closet a lot so it's not like I've disturbed dust to go in there during the 5 minutes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

In my home? Probably in a fruit.

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