this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I told a small lie to get the job I have now. I told them I hosted my own website when in truth it had been shot down after a short 2 month stint because I lost interest. I'm now this crazy all hats IT person and have maybe done 3 months of webdev total.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

I'm now this crazy all hats IT person

Well, looks like they needed a Jack of all Trades instead of a Master of ~~N~~one.

[–] tyler 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hosted is both a past and present term πŸ˜‰

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I'm sorry I'm American

[–] [email protected] 65 points 6 months ago (2 children)

"I'm fine."

The problem is I keep repeating the same lie.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 6 months ago

Not me but a good friend of mine met a girl and lied about his job. He was already working a decent job as a floor salesman while applying to be a flight attendant which paid more money. He told her he already had the position he was applying for, which he never got and it kept snowballing until he could no longer come clean without major consequences. For 6 months, he had to make up a fake flight schedule, fake work-related anecdotes, etc., Needless to say when he eventually came clean she ended things, and I suppose he learned a very strange but valuable lesson. It was pretty funny to me at least.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 6 months ago

That I loved her...

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago

I don't lie as a rule but there's misleading line on my resume. I didn't graduate college because I ran out of money, but I did do all the coursework. I put the degree program on there for positions outside the field, because they're not going to check but still want someone college educated.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

"Are you from this country?"

"Yes."

"Alright, happy voting!"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

β€œI do.” to the vicar…

Edit: this is a joke. I’m not some kind of disrespectful philanderer irl.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Before my kids were even born, my wife and I made jokes about what we'd name them. Real tragedeigh-level names.

Sometimes we'd get concerned looks.

The worst ones are those who agree with our obvious joke. We'd say we'll name him "Duhmpstar" or "Phartz" and they'd gush over how original and cute it'll be. Where it bites us in the ass is that we never ever reveal that we're mocking them, and they actually use those names for their crotch goblin.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

Just because I am Australian doesn't mean I am a criminal.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Little domino - β€œYeah I can totally play Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls.”

Big domino - β€œOur second child is finally asleep, but I think they pooped.”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm missing something, mind filling in a couple a more dominos?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Second smallest domino - 2008 Subprime Mortgage Collapse

Some middle domino - β€œBut it’s Nic Cage November. We have to watch a Nic Cage movie. We can watch City of Angels. It has that song you like.”

Second biggest domino - COVID-19 Pandemic

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You caused the sub prime mortgage crisis by saying you could play the goo goo dolls?!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

I regret nothing

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

She started it. It wasn't a lie per se, but it has guided me ever since I said that.