Asklemmy

City, no doubt in my mind.

Being able to walk, bike and take transit instead of having to own a car is important for me. I'm not interested in the additional maintenance involved with owning a house, an apartment suits me a lot better. I also like having good access to plenty of things to do in the form of a great selection of restaurants and being close to international transportation options. Good access to nature without having to drive a car is also important to me.

Always a small town. I like to have a big house and a semblance of nature available. Although I could do with less right wing neighbours.

Mid-sized stand-alone city. Think 50-200K people.

If I explicitly have to choose between big city or small town, then it comes down to employment options. If that is a non-factor (e.g. remote work) then small town.

For those saying culture or whatever, I'm ok with commuting to a big city once a month or whatever for that stuff. I don't need cultural attractions for my day-to-day life.

I prefer to live in the middle of nowhere(ish) aside from the conservative culture which inevitably comes with it. I also like walkable city areas. I completely hate anything in between.

Size doesn't really matter to me. Density and accessibility matter to me most.

I would rather live in a community of ~10k that is walkable than a community of 1m+ where I have to drive everywhere. If I can access groceries, dining, and public transportation without ever needing to own a car, I am happy.

I could live in North Bend, Washington, but not Gary, Indiana.

I could live in NYC, but not L.A.

This entire question is completely distorted by the poor-qualtiy postwar urbanism that is rampant everywhere.

The reality is, there shouldn't be much difference. Lowrise cities -- 2-4 story buildings/townhomes, small apartments, walkable neighborhoods/mass transit, corner groceries, all that stuff that people think can ONLY exist in big cities should be the norm for nearly all towns.

I don't think many people would describe a place like, say, Bordeaux as a "big city". 250kish people in 50 square kilometers is hardly Paris. It's a small city, or maybe a big town. And it has everything you can want from a city and more. Shows, museums, beautiful multimodal neighborhoods, a robust tram system, restaurants and cafes and bars. All this kind of stuff.

The problem is we've all been mentally taught you can either live in island, R1A zoned suburbs which require driving to do ANYTHING or else you need to live in a huge metropolis like NYC. Or else we've been trained to think of a "city" like the bullshit they have in Texas, where it combines all the worst features of those island suburbs/car dependence with all the worst parts of city (crazy prices, noise, exposure to nearby-feeling crime, etc).

While a lot of the US big cities are trying to sort out the knots they've tied themselves in, your best bet to find beautiful, livable urban-ism is in those much smaller <500k cities that don't even show up on the typical lists of cities. Especially if they are historic, since the more historic a place is the less likely it got bulldozed in the 60s to make room for more highways (destroying local neighborhoods in the process) Some kind of a big university also tends to be a plus, though it's a mixed bag. Check for places that do not have an interstate carving through the middle of the city.

We can only get the amenities of modern urbanism in the biggest metropolises these days because of how badly the "suburban experiment" has distorted and destroyed our community life. And there can only be so many metropolises, so they've naturally turned absurdly expensive. People can't afford to live in them because of how much people want to live in them. So they settle for suburbia, since financial poverty feels way worse than poverty of community.

I grew up in a small town. I live in a big city. While I can see the allure of smallish towns (20-50k people), I prefer not having to drive several miles to get anywhere. I have three grocery stores and a bar/restaurant/music venue within walking distance. Cities that size also tend to have urban sprawl which I think is ugly af.

The town I grew up in had about 2500 people and you had to drive an hour and a half to get to a town with more than 10k people. People there tend to be very conservative which is odd considering the government is the biggest employer and towns like that take more state funds than they produce.

The older I get the more remote I want to live. I just want a good grocery store, a hardware store, doctor and vet in approx 10 min drive distance and I need something to charge my car nearby. That’s all the „city“ I need. Otherwise I want peace and nature around me.

City. Around 100k is the comfortable size.

Not like I require the city's wider array of amenities all that much. I will still be spending 97% of my time at work or at home.

But if I lived in a small town again (born and raised in a town of <8,000), that extra 3% of the time I wanted to go out I'd have to remind myself, "Oh yeah, I live in a dead end town in the middle of nowhere that services none of my personal interests," and that 3% would rapidly become 0%. I'd live fine with that, but eh. Why take a strict net loss when I can simply not?

The walkabiity and community arguments for small towns are complete non-factors for me, seeing as I go basically nowhere and talk to basically no one. And I'm not persuaded by the cost of living argument for small towns, since lower rent would be almost equally counterbalanced by lower salary opportunities.

Big city for sure, I don't want to need a car and I do want to be able to get groceries 23.40 at a Saturday night. It's nice to have a group of 500k+ people actively trying to supply for all of the needs and wants I might have.

Perfectly located small town. 10k population, right besides the train station which takes me in 10min to either a small city, a medium sized city or, in 30min, to the largest city of the country.

Having lived in both, I prefer the big city. Aside from numerous reasons already mentioned in this thread, I notice that big city people are more open-minded and more diverse. Being slightly different for whatever reason is more of an issue in a small community.

Small town. Cities are high energy. I like visiting but get worn down by the hustle and bustle.

City.

Fewer bigots, fewer people in your business, there's community spaces other than the church, the food is better, and most of all, there's work to be had.

It is a matter of personal preference, but there is a reason most people are migrating into cities right now.

Edit: I was wrong. While most people were migrating to cities for work, that isn't necessarily true anymore nationwide. In my state, it is still happening, but we have a large influx of people from other states.

Countryside.

US Centric Answer:

Somewhere in between.

Somewhere there is still a downtown, the arts, interesting things to do.

But also, just not to massive. I don't want actual skyscrapers. 6 stories is tall enough for me.

There's only a handful of US cities like this, that straddle the line between having big city amenities and small town charm where it feels like you know a bunch of the locals.

I prefer living i a nice suburb with excellent public transport to get to work in the city.

Just like I have been doing for all my life (:

The city is a place you visit, and then come home to your nice suburb walk home from the bus stop along a small, quiet canal, sometimes there is an event in the park you pass through, else it is just quiet.

Need to get to work in the city center? Get on the bus that departs every 5-10 min during rush hour, 30 min later switch to the underground that departs every 5 min, switch lines, get off 15 and walk to the office, arrive 45 min after you left home having slept or watched videos on your commute.

If I could live in West Virginia but without West Virginians, I'd probably do that.

I've done both, neither, just kill me now. Unless the small town is near a big city, so I can have cheaper housing but also access to more than a dollar general without driving for an hour.

Big city, I am an urban animal, I enjoy having a wide cultural/activity offer, having a grocery store down my stairs, and be able to do tons of stuff by walking/cycling.

Big city! Given those 2 extremes. Not that I genuinely know. Every choice of residence has been out of extreme necessity. Never made a "voluntary" choice to move with proper time.

I want walkability, access to services, and robust infrastructure.

2nd choice is middle of nowhere where I can do all that stuff myself and homestead.

I already live in a huge city and I like it that way.

There is always something happening, and always a way to get there.

I live pretty darn rural nowadays. Used to live in a biggish city. Didn't dislike it, it has its upsides like people have pointed out. And I could afford it, even a largeish house if I would've wanted. But the prospect of being effectively turned into a modern day slave by virtue of having to have a well paying job to afford mortgage and over all higher cost of living associated with big city life it just didn't feel appealing. So we bought an old farm in the boonies instead for less than we sold the apartment for. Pretty much no neighbors. 20.000 SQ meters of land, some goats and hens. It's pretty tranquil and peaceful. Still work a stressful IT job that pays well but being able to just stroll through a 100 year old forest by walking out the door does wonders for stress management I feel. Sure the commute sucks when I do need to be at the office but it's a small price to pay and it has meant that I actually take the time to read quite a few books per year during said commute.

Small town. Less traffic, crime, pollution, expense. More sense of community.

The way the world is going .... to live as far away from others as much as possible.

I live in a small city of about 90k and I love it. We have the important amnesties, eg shopping and a hospital, but in a few minutes you’re out in the open fields. Meanwhile buses to nearby large city depart every 6 to 30 min from my street.

I'm definitely a city person. I love walking to things (for which I need sidewalks) and hate cars. I like being able to walk to a bar, personally I find more sense of community with close neighbors instead of being a mile from anybody. I have a rural friend who once asked if I got freaked out that my neighbors could see what I do in my yard and...no. Doesn't bother me. Honestly I feel safer when I leave for vacation that my neighbors would text me if something was wrong at my house. I'm not scared of violent crime because it's vanishingly small odds in most residential areas that aren't poverty stricken.

Any outdoor activity I don't do frequently enough that it's worth having a huge plot of land for it and I don't want to have to mow an acre or more. I wouldn't be able to survive on satellite internet.

City.

I want to be able to surround myself with a variety of people and cultures, while also being able to surround myself with the community that makes me feel welcome.

Growing up gay in a rural town that was relatively progressive was still a nightmare, and the town's best feature for me was the commuter train that took me to the closest big city.

I love having access to basically everything relatively easily and I love having a multitude of options for all the things I have access to. Small towns can't provide that.

I also hate yards, though gardens are nice.

So yeah, for me while I have found some small towns I could make work, I would always be giving up things that I value to do so. Big cities are the best, and smaller cities can be good, too, but I'm a city boy through and through.

Whichever is more walkable. I'm living crazy cheap with no car these past few years and I don't want to go back.

Definitely small town for me. I couldn't live with the noise, pollution, crowds and lack of nature of a big city for long. I wouldn't want to live completely out in the sticks either though, so a decently sized city should be within at least an hours reach or so. Thankfully such places are pretty easy to find in Germany.

I live 15 minutes outside a small town, 1 hour away from the city.

Love it.

UK answer: city 100% no question.

Being able to actually get places and do things and have people to do those things with, I don't even know how a small town could ever compare. Grew up in one, currently living in another one, both crap.