this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2024
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submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 181 points 8 months ago (10 children)

Real answer: these are actually real languages! They're just conlangs, or constructed languages, instead of natural languages. The major problem with conlangs generally ends up being the limited vocabulary, but the grammar foundations are usually solid.

I actually really like Klingon as a language because it was intentionally designed to be alien, and specifically to be very Klingon. Most languages are Subject-Verb-Object (like English and other Western languages) or Subject-Object-Verb (like Japanese or Hindi). Klingon, however, is Object-Verb-Subject - it's very direct with the emphasis placed on the target of the sentence, which makes sense with the Star Trek world and Klingon culture.

Fun fact, Klingon has at least one native speaker - some guy raised his daughter to speak Klingon as well as English. (I'm not a fan of this - on one hand, learning multiple languages from an early age is a huge leg up in being able to learn more languages in the future, but on the other hand Klingon is entirely useless as a primary language given its structure and the few other people who speak it.)

[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago

Speers was also the only person who would speak Klingon to Alec and the boy never saw Star Trek during this experiment, so didn’t ever see anyone but his father speaking it. As everyone else spoke English, Speers stated when Alec was about three years old, “He stopped listening to me when I spoke in Klingon. It was clear that he didn’t enjoy it, and I didn’t want to make it into a problem, so I switched to English…”

Today the teenage Alec no longer is fluent in Klingon and reportedly can’t even pick out the meaning of individual words of the language.

Wow

[–] [email protected] 23 points 8 months ago (5 children)

So klingons would like the song Hammer Smashed Face?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Face, when the hammer fell

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

No, that’s still subject-verb-object or at least adjective clause-noun depending on how it’s read (it should have a hyphen in that case but stuff like that gets left out a lot)

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Even cooler, in my opinion, are languages that are even further outside of common indo european language paradigms, such as Navajo which uses degrees of animacy instead of grammatical gender and Basque which uses ‘focus’ and ‘topic’ to determine word order rather than subjects and objects.

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 8 months ago (10 children)

It's funnier with French because no one hates the Dutch language more than the Dutch, but France thinks everything it does is the best.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I'm Dutch and I approve this message.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (9 children)

Why do the Dutch hate the language?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

It's a stupid language making no sense at all. Weird grammer. Plus, it has weird sounds. Like the R and G, and flattened vowels. Whenever our prime-minister speaks English, it's a massive shame factor for any Dutch person. Oh and not just the current bozo, the past several as well. Like if it's mandatory to speak horrible English to become prime-minister or something.

French accent? Super sexy. Irish? Scottish? Oeh yeah. German? So sophisticated, or a female with soft German: rrrrrrrr, melting. Italian? Spanish? Greek? Hell yeah. Norwegian, Danish? So bad ass viking. Swedish? Sure. Even Sud Afrikaans English accent is sexy AF. That language even originates from Dutch!

But Dutch itself? Boner gone, give me a paper bag with 2 holes in it and fast!

It's not without reason English officially isn't considered a foreign language in the Netherlands anymore. There are even talks about adapting it as a second national language, as the general knowledge of English is of a certain level, it's getting close to Dutch. The only people in the Netherlands who are unable to speak English are a few boomers and some who haven't read any book besides the Bible.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (5 children)

French people are busy hating on themselves. I've heard about French people hating on people from Paris so since Ive ment French people during my exchange/foreign semester I tried asking them if they really hate people from Paris and they confirmed it for me. All non Paris French people hate on Paris French people lol

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 8 months ago (7 children)

Right, what’s ‘Dutch’?

[–] odium 35 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Deutsch is the German word for German. I think they just made a typo and put the wrong flag or smth.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago

A kind of oven, I think.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

It's when everyone pays their own bill at the restaurant.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Swampgerman.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Houd je smoel anders zet ik je je kop tussen twee oren

[–] [email protected] 34 points 8 months ago

In case anyone else is curious what that says, it's:

'ach ghu' DaSovchu'be' je

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 32 points 8 months ago (1 children)

we got high valyrian before Persian or Tagalog

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I think it's properly called Hollandaise.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (3 children)

wait till this guy finds out people still learn Latin

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago

nIDwI' leghmajvaD ngoQ'e' nIDwI'! (This aggression will not stand!)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Nou mag je eens heel goed luisteren, jij hondelul.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago

Go wizard somewhere else, Gandalf.

And take your clogs with you.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

SPRICH DEUTSCH DU HURENSOHN

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Holländisch ist nur Deutsch wenn man Halsschmerzen hat.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

More like rapidly flipping german, french, english, swedish and danish channels on a TV

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

Zeg klootviool

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

No double consonants at the end of Dutch words except for loanwords. Now you'll remember this instead of something you'll find useful. Enjoy!

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I'm in the process of learning German so my mental shorthand way of thinking about Dutch is that it's basically German with extra As and Os.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Dutch is like a German describing to Englishman that he just took a bite of a very hot potato

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Dutch is like if german and english had a baby together but when it was 10 english cheated with french and ran off

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

It's just Swamp German

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (2 children)

That is not a Dutch flag, that is the flag of Luxembourg...

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Zeg makker …

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