this post was submitted on 08 May 2024
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@Catfish @CEOofmyhouse56 I can just imagine how that meeting went down...
Faceless manager: "To meet our KPIs, I worked out that we need to make our product 7% smaller. But how do we make them smaller without anyone noticing?"
Sally from operations: "We're part of a big multinational conglomerate that made millions of dollars in profit last year. We can afford to keep them the same size and keep prices where they are!"
Greg from accounting: "Not on my watch!"
Faceless manager: "And I won't meet our KPIs!"
Sally from operations: "We could just be upfront with our customers and say that we're raising our prices a little in line with inflation?"
Faceless manager: "Yeah, but then they'll notice!"
Colin the Consultant: "Let's make them a bit thinner, and make them an oval shape! That way, they're the same length, but a smaller width!"
Faceless manager: "Thank you Colin! That's why we pay you the big dollars!"
"but I think we need to discuss this more over 4 consecutive work lunches down pub. Who's in?".