this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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Experiencing firsthand how difficult an aging alcoholic, quadriplegic, post stroke, narcissistic, demented or simply ‘nothing’s wrong with me, I can drive, I don’t need those meds, I don’t need to go to a nursing facility’ kinda parent surely gives you some insight on what to do, what not to do and how to prepare for our own aging and eventual demise.

How do you plan to age gracefully and what advice do you have for us all?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Based on my observations (of various old people in my life) of what works and what doesn't:

  • continue to gather and use evidence to make decisions

  • continue to be open minded to new ideas and new evidence

  • recognise your blind spots and have trusted people in your life to help with decisionmaking in those areas

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

I think you hit the nail on the head.

Where you live is one thing, but how you face the world is another. As we age, it seems that we have increased challenges in the areas you note.

Trust becomes harder. Acknowledging our own faults and cognitive degradations becomes harder. Making decisions becomes harder. And desire to remain autonomous becomes stronger. Those things don’t jive too well.

One more thing to add: maintain a community of similarly-aged peers. Otherwise, one might feel like they are on an island.

This is based on my experience caring for an elderly family member.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The older you get, the more it is important to have younger friends as well.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Maybe it’s just important to stay generally social with folks of all types, as perspectives and conversations keep us young? Is that a good maxim?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Definitely. Diverse friends give you a lot of insight and perspective and can help you not to become too judgemental. And then, when you're really old, you will still have a social circle despite the older people and many of your age group being gone.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I think that's a great tip. You're right.