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Setup was a pain in the ass for me, but I was determined not to return to reddit after the API changes. I'm tech-savvy enough to build a PC, format/partition disks, and provide tech support for my extremely confused mother, but Mastadon was so off-putting that I jumped ship during setup, and Lemmy had a learning curve that the average person may not be willing to figure out.
Even my brother who is familiar with using Tor and such couldn't quite figure out Lemmy. He wound up joining (what I assume was) one of the shitty instances right after the first large migration, and it must have been defederated for one reason or other because he denounced the rampant censorship and went back to reddit. If he were right wing or a Nazi I could probably connect the dots there, but my brother is even further left than I am. He actually got me into politics while he was campaigning for Bernie Sanders. So I'm not exactly sure what soured his experience more-so than the initial setup (which he also struggled to wrap his head around).
I suspect he didn't understand why his instance was defederated, and just saw the people around him complaining that it had happened. Kind of a bummer because he introduced me to Sync and would fit in really well here, but something went awry.
Defederation is the biggest issue holding lemmy back IMO. If we could honestly say you can join any instance and it doesn't matter it would make onboarding a lot easier.
I found set up to be a little involved as well. Was there any particular aspect about it that you recall being unnecessarily complicated?
I don't know if it's still this way, but at the time I felt as though I had joined an empty cell on reddit and had to go through pages upon pages of potential subs/interests, many of which were vastly under-populated or duplicates from various other instances. It felt a bit like using a radio dial to find stations out in the static, and most of them weren't interesting. I was using Jerboa and didn't care much for it, but after Sync arrived my experience became nearly indistinguishable from reddit.. except I'm not always stressed out and constantly dealing with inflammatory assholes and social confrontation.
Lemmy has definitely grown a lot since I arrived, though. I do miss niche communities, especially for old PC games that are no longer mainstream.. But I haven't been back to reddit since before the blackouts. It wasn't good for my mental health.