this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation
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As a gay man and outsider on this issue, it seems mildly sexist. It's the kind of thing that fits in with the content at over at r/AreTheStraightsOk.
The assumption that women are giving hints all the time rather than just trying to get through their day seems wrong.
And the idea that men need to get better at figuring those hints out rather than leaving them alone also seems wrong.
But whenever I hear the issues which men and women who date each other face I am often baffled.
Well you exist in a community (that I'm not a part of but have been pretty thoroughly immersed in in the past) where in my experience supply and demand of sex or sexual favors is roughly 50/50. It vastly simplifies things when the number of people who would like a blowjob is pretty well matched by the number of people who want to give one.
"You want to suck some dick? Awesome! I have a dick and enjoy getting it sucked. If you're still cute when I have some post nut clarity I might offer to buy you a drink to get the taste out of your mouth"
I think someone downvoted you because cum tastes awesome!
I think what you described is more of a side effect of the lack of a gender-based power differential and equal sexual culture between the two partners.
I don't think that gay men are as hyper-sexual as the stereotype suggests, but we do have the option to be so without having the repercussions women would face.
Yes it is a wild oversimplification, but I worked and ran security for a few seperate gay bars/clubs over the years so I saw more of the "meat market" side of the community.
In general that's also where we got the stereotype, our bars and bathhouses. These were the more visible parts of our community for a very long time, and they're places gay men went to meet each other and hook up before apps were a thing.
It would be like judging all men by the men who go to strip clubs.
It's not that it's necessary wrong, in that there are lots of gay men, myself included, who fit that stereotype. But it inherently excludes people who don't fit from being considered.
I think that's similar to the statement OP is asking about, but I am not sure where the "women give hints and men miss them" trope comes from.
Oh I'm not silly, I knew gay people outside of that context and worked straight clubs too, I just noticed the differences in that context were the same as in regular day to day life only amplified.