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"Men are bad at picking up on women's hints." What are your actual thoughts on this sentiment? (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Either through memes or comments I keep seeing this sentiment pop-up from time to time. And I'm wondering what your (yes, you) consensus is on it.

I for one am too pessimistic to do anything with potential hints. Like even if there is a good chance I still just don't want to risk it.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think someone downvoted you because cum tastes awesome!

I think what you described is more of a side effect of the lack of a gender-based power differential and equal sexual culture between the two partners.

I don't think that gay men are as hyper-sexual as the stereotype suggests, but we do have the option to be so without having the repercussions women would face.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yes it is a wild oversimplification, but I worked and ran security for a few seperate gay bars/clubs over the years so I saw more of the "meat market" side of the community.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

In general that's also where we got the stereotype, our bars and bathhouses. These were the more visible parts of our community for a very long time, and they're places gay men went to meet each other and hook up before apps were a thing.

It would be like judging all men by the men who go to strip clubs.

It's not that it's necessary wrong, in that there are lots of gay men, myself included, who fit that stereotype. But it inherently excludes people who don't fit from being considered.

I think that's similar to the statement OP is asking about, but I am not sure where the "women give hints and men miss them" trope comes from.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Oh I'm not silly, I knew gay people outside of that context and worked straight clubs too, I just noticed the differences in that context were the same as in regular day to day life only amplified.