[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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Any lurkers here still mostly lurking? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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It's so weird how Lemmy feels like old reddit and that was when I was more active but as reddit grew I began to lurk more except in four different communities. It's still hard to not lurk here. I frequently will type a comment or make a post and delete it, haha. Anybody else experiencing this?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I never understood lurking. How can you just sit back and observe without ever engaging? Do you have no thoughts? Are you embarrassed? Lazy? We will never know because once the lurkers answer, they are no longer lurking. 😌

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

As someone who usually lurks on most forums, it's a combination of not really being completely comfortable with the culture and group dynamics of smaller communities, and also just never feel compelled to add something. Usually I just see someone else has said something pretty close to what I was thinking and I just shrug and say "eh, close enough" and move on.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Im often socially awkward around people I don't know well, and I have had many failed attempts to get past it. After a while I usually participate more.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm gonna be honest with you, I dislike the attitude of "I never understood sth" followed by confrontational and accusational language. Maybe you did not intend to be hostile, but you're much less likely to get a straight answer with that tone. You're much more likely to trigger "I know, right!?" responses by people already sharing your opinion/impression.

Seems like you already made up your mind about lurkers apparently. Let me tell you why I mostly lurk. I guess this applies to others as well.

Just because people don't engage on social media does not mean they don't engage in other parts of life.
Engaging takes effort, time and energy. Many people don't have those to spare.
Contributions are also is not guaranteed to get positive feedback. Discussions with people holding different opinions is difficult for some people (various reasons). Open hostility is also a possibility.
Some (I guess most) people are not here to have discussions at all, just to consume. They are not primarily looking for a community, but entertainment or news. They have other priorities / more important things to do.

Maybe you actually were interested in an honest answer. Here it is.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I lurked after neverrrr getting any activity on posts and comments. I only had like one marginally successful post on reddit

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I hate myself and I'm pretty sure others will too if I let them get to know me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I mean, I'm seeing your name in literally every feed I click on, so that's some dedication!

I'm certainly just lazy, and often people have said what I am wanting to say more effectively than I can