this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2024
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Programming
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Fair point, my life is a bit fucked up at the moment and work is something I haven't managed to fuck up yet and at least gives me a bit sense of accomplishment and it keeps me busy of not overthinking and getting crazy.
I know this is a treacherous road which often leads to workaholism and I guess I am half there yet. But I am also having sometimes problems of concentrating on more mundane and boring stuff and I procrastinate and working overtime is making things square.
When you are young everything looks so much simpler and the older you get the more demons there are and life fucks us over big time or at least some of us. And the worst part is when you realise that there isn't anyone else's fault, that due to your own stupidity you are in this situation but there isn't coming back, you can't reload life and you should continue playing this game till the very end and try to get the best of it.
And you know what's even worse, that some people have it way worse than me and honestly speaking I don't know how they manage to cope. I am more or less privileged to be born in Europe and have a safe and more or less comfortable life that we all take for granted.
Sorry for the rant!
No worries!
I can empathise somewhat, I have burned myself out with work before. I have given myself anxiety by procrastinating my work and then spending time thinking about all the things I need to do and how I won't have the time instead of just doing it.. To the point that I struggled to sleep, which just made me even less productive. It's all a downward spiral, unfortunately.
I hope you get your life on the track you want it to be on!