this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
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Why did the Bermuda triangle, quicksand, and maybe premature burial and stop drop & roll so capture our minds?
Replace the quarter to call home with swallowing gum or something.
To be fair stop drop and roll is still good advice. You just don't find yourself on fire that often.
In fact, it's a good thing that we never have to use Stop Drop & Roll ourselves.
The one time I did find myself on fire, I completely forgot about stop, drop, and roll. Instead I ran until I stumbled on the hillside, then shouted "am I still on fire?"
Aaand that story is why I no longer fucks with charcoal grills.
Caught my pants on fire from a welding spark and by the time I noticed, it was most of my leg on fire. Didn't even think to stop drop and roll, I just took off my pants.
Couple of points of advice:
Don't wear frayed clothing while welding.
Fire can't be seen through certain welding masks. If you feel warm, lift the fucking mask.
Wait you managed to light yourself on fire with a CHARCOAL grill?
Did you put accelerant on it for some reason?
I certainly did haha
He forgot to mention all the people just giving you drugs to get you addicted
Fuckin’ D.A.R.E.
Omg I was so disappointed later on life to find out there are no free drug people. Fucking lame, they said it would be like a costco market.
Even when I got to university and literally all but one of my friends smoked weed, I still wasn't offered any. I don't think my 'friends' liked me that much..
Oh man. This is embarrassing, but in college I didn't want to be in any one in-group (I also have some flavor of commitment issue), so I used to push my way into groups and cliques where I wasn't invited. I'd wallow in the palpable social discomfort of "Who the fuck is this?" for quite some time till I got used to it. This was my main way to score "recreational flora". I'd later turn some of them into friends maybe a couple months down the road, but thinking back on this now, I cringe into a black hole.
You could also use bees, as long as you had 5 of em. "Gimme 5 bees for a quarter" you'd say.
Ok but spontaneous human combustion still got me shook though
Well it doesn't happen. Something that's 70% water can't explode. Have you ever heard of an animal exploding randomly? There's literally no way for it to happen.
You should stay away from Sodium then I guess.
bursting into flames after my 11th Ramen bowl that day
Are you my doctor?!
what the fuck is a kangaroo shoe pocket
I'm gonna look for some of these as my next trainer.
Bro im aussie and Ive never seen this. They are awesome.
woah these are amazing! never seen them before!
Kangaroos (aka "Roos") were these awesome shoes with a little pocket in them.
I got a pair about 13 years ago, long after they'd stopped being popular, and used them to hide my drugs in high school and college. They were awesome until I started hiding really bad drugs in there. Then they were just enabling me.
Also what the fuck is swallowing gum.
Ah yes of course, just like the apple seeds that grow a tree in your gut.
Bad UX decisions is just like swallowing gum because both of them makes me shit myself