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what has worked for you to stop getting angry thinking about people who hurt you? (linux.community)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm letting people who hurt me in the past live rent free in my mind.

One episode involves a former landlord that tried to run me over in an intersection with no traffic cameras.

Another one involves a manager that fired me for informing that one of his favorites yelled during night shift and ignored alarms to talk. He fired me the next day, used the exit interview to tell me everything I didn't do right (but kept quiet about his favorites, even though I did the job like them), still had the utmost confidence on his favorites, accused me of being lazy and instead of simply firing me and keeping neutral he chose to take it personal, proceeded to try to scare me insinuating I wouldn't work for his system again, when that failed, tried to humiliate me and then fired me. This was in an non union hospital.

When I think about it I get angry. Id like not to be so thin skinned, but here I am.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Depends on the transgression.

Most of the time I recognize what miserable pieces of shit they are and will sometimes point that out to them while laughing in their face. Other times I'll laugh in their face and move on because I know we both know how much they suck. I do keep a shit list for the worst of them, though. The shit list is actionable and I do get very creative with it. But to be honest, I'm middle aged and there's barely two people on that list. It's not a priority.

Overall, my favorite thing to do is let them know they're not hiding how terrible of a person they are. Best example was some dude and his wife came over to scream at me and I looked at his wife and said, "I'm so sorry you're stuck with this guy. You clearly can do way better." That shut him down so fast all he could do was walk away flustered. Get that ball rolling in dissolving that marriage. *I also had a boss blame me for something I didn't do once and fire me. I dumped all his fuck ups on the HR exit interview and low and behold - he got canned a week later. I guess my answer is I get creative. Shrug.