this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2023
167 points (93.7% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26707 readers
1376 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics.


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

She gained some weight but she is not fat at all!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] -2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It doesn't matter if your intention was the opposite of doing harm. Your advice was not good advice. Your experience with someone who had an eating disorder doesn't give you the ability to intuitively diagnose everyone that reminds you of their situation as having the same disorder.

You're making huge assumptions based on little information. Saying people are underweight or hardly eat anything doesn't even come close to automatically meaning "eating disorder". I'm underweight myself and eat very little, I'm not anorexic. If I feel chubby after a few days of binge eating, someone trying to make me stop thinking about it by distracting me like a dog isn't going to help.

Again, I'm assuming your goal is to help so I'm not trying to be rude, but your advice is both making the issue out to be much larger than it probably is (saying she is anorexic/ bulimic while OP never used these words) while simultaneously suggesting he ignore the problem by distracting her. Even if she does have an eating disorder, as others have pointed out, saying things are "a trap" is not a healthy way to look at it, as someone reaching out for help is not doing so to put you in a bad position.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I’m underweight myself and eat very little (...) I feel chubby after a few days of binge eating

I see, so you are probably affected by an eating disorder yourself and therefore biased. That explains your stance on the topic.

your advice is (...) making the issue out to be much larger than it probably is. (...) OP never used these words

OP sounds inexperienced and probably is confronted with this kind of disorder for the first time. So naturally OP describes it without using certain vocabulary and therefore wrote: "She gained some weight but she is not fat at all!" and "She was underweight before, because she hardly ate anything".

simultaneously suggesting he ignore the problem

So you agree there is a problem? I never suggested to ignore the problem. I only suggested to not join in on the topic of "I am fat", brought up by someone with a possible eating disorder. See next point for reason.

as someone reaching out for help is not doing so to put you in a bad position

Saying "I am fat" when being just above underweight, does not equal asking for help. It equals asking for confirmation of a distorted body awareness and self image.

Blocked to prevent further animosities.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I see, so you are probably affected by an eating disorder yourself and therefore biased. That explains your stance on the topic.

You either have no idea what you're talking about, or you're a troll. Most people stop diagnosing strangers over the Internet when they leave high school. I really hope nobody follows your bad, harmful advice.

Do you find it strange that your professional, sound advice is getting down voted em masse? You really think you've got the right take?