this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I was at the dentist office around Halloween, and there was an old lady in the waiting room with me. She was a small talker and I learned something from this exchange.

"Oh, don't their decorations look cute!"

"Yes, I love Halloween!"

"Oh, yes, all the kids in their cute costumes. Do you have children?"

"Yes but they are older now, youngest in high school "

It was like she had practiced for a long time, wasn't like she was intrusive or pushy, just light conversation, and it is a SKILL not a talent. You can do it. Look around and comment on something. Practice. ETA: you don't have kids so the dance move would be "No, do you have kids or grandkids?" It can keep going without you sharing, it's sort of a game I think.

Also find people who don't need the silence filled, people who like to just sit with you and not talk, not everyone needs that small talk - I think it's fun but don't need it, am comfortable with silence too. Just remember it's a skill you can learn, like cooking. You can even learn to enjoy it if you don't feel like it's mandatory.