this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
199 points (96.3% liked)

Asklemmy

43902 readers
2033 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
199
How do I cope with my father hating me? (lemm.ee)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
59 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never been anything but opportunistic and positive in our interactions. Regardless he still acts like I am a burden to talk too. Am now 37, and finally getting to the point I should accept it. I'm the complete opposite with my own children and can't comprehend how someone could treat their child like this. How do I cope? It eats at me. I will answer any questions in depth if it will help in understanding the situation.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

I agree with this post. Move on and build your life your way.

I'd like to add, in case it's helpful, from my own experience the thinking about it never ends. My dad passed 40 years ago and i still have the same thoughts, feelings, arguments even (a little more one-sided now that he's gone, though). I mean the dynamic might last forever, but you can separate that emotional internal dynamic from how you live your life. And there's a kind of "this stops here" effect, because your own children will never have to deal with all that stuff, because you dealt with it and moved on. That's something to be proud of.