this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
527 points (99.8% liked)

196

16458 readers
2123 users here now

Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.

Rule: You must post before you leave.

^other^ ^rules^

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This idea that other people are looking at you and judging you at the gym is pure paranoia and a bit of a case of "main character syndrome"

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, it’s years of PE trauma.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No one is looking at you, you are not the main character. You're just a background NPC to them.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thing is, it's not about being "the main character". Some people had a really rough time in school and for them it can feel that they're being judged by others even if most people aren't. Childhood trauma and psychological conditions are really complex and even if you can "logically" reason something to be true, your anxiety and your emotions are really really good at convincing you that your fears aren't unfounded.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah school was awful for me. It took me a while to get comfortable in public spaces because of anxiety.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lol you clearly don't go to the gym if you're saying this. Went to the YMCA as a kid and saw elliptical politics that made my middle school that literally split us into "teams" by economic class look tame in comparison. Because of the death of the third place in western society, any activity that isn't where you sleep or work becomes a third place, where people are kind of inherently judging the people around them, to fulfill this. All the shitty people you went to high school gym with are mostly the same people now, and need a place to continue their bullshit. Some will grow past this, but by that point the next generation of gym shitheads is ready.

The only way I agree with your comment is if you said "people at the gym aren't judging you any more than people outside the gym already do". Maybe it's just the area I live, but everything becomes a game of judgement. It's one thing to say "yeah I'm being judged by other people and I don't care". But to determine that you aren't being percieved at all off of this idea is more delusional than the idea that you are being percieved.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My experience is in line with @[email protected]

Maybe you have a case of the main character syndrome or some social anxiety yourself

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Lol nah it's true, people silently judge everyone around them and they do it to try to convince themselves they are superior. That they haven't been doing things wrong their whole lives. That their inner models for how the world works are accurate.

You just don't want to admit that humans are that shitty, that's all. Or that you are.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

YOU silently judge everyone around you. You've admitted as much. You don't know what it going on in any one else's head, that's pure conjecture by you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

And so do you. I never said I was excluded from that rule. I am at least unabashedly honest about it. You just don't want to accept you are the same way.

We are nothing but selfish, indolent, avaricious, narcissistic, jealous, petty, nasty little apes who establish dominance hierarchies and silently judging others for the reasons I listed above is one of the myriad of ways in which we demonstrate our true nature and establish dominance over one another.

Convincing oneself one is superior to others is a survival mechanism. A destructive one I am going to judge you and blame you for, simply because it is the truth.

We are destructive and cruel to each other and that is what it means to be human. Accept it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do yourself a favor and tell that to a therapist.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

See? The first thing any of you thought to do was take offense because deep down inside, you know what I'm saying is true.

Would it help if I told you it's okay to just be a simple animal? We all are anyway.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I didn't take offense. It's not that all of what you're saying is false. It's just quite obvious that you have a very negative picture of humans and probably have been hurt. People aren't just the cruel animals you think they are. I know that and sincerely wish that you someday will as well. So that wasn't meant offensive in any way. Go see a therapist.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

What makes you think they took offense? If they responded another way that they don't do it, you'd believe them? I think you're just coming up with excuses to claim that you're right.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Wow, I scrolled through your history and landed one one random comment.

If you see humans default to this, it's only a reflection of yourself, and I mirror the guy who replied to you. Therepy would really help you.

Choose to see the good, or proliferate the bad, your choice.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not everyone is the same. We aren't all motivated by the same things, we weren't all raised the same way, we weren't all damaged by the same things and we don't all think the same.

When you assume everyone thinks the same way as you, you'll misjudge a lot of people.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

And not a single one of those things changes the fact that humans silently judge each other.

All people do this across all cultures. We're hardwired to do it by virtue of being what we are, and what we are are apes who establish dominance hierarchies.

It's just a fact. You're purposefully misconstruing it as a moral claim so you can attack a strawman to make yourself feel better, but it's still just a fact.

If I told you it is in no way a moral judgement or condemnation toward you, I bet you would be more ready to accept it, and that's the point. Your selfishness is the point.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

No, no, I'm pretty amazing

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I guess it's easier when your're an older white dude, you can just kind of melt into the background and stay off people's radars. It's probably way harder when your trans.