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Okay so I'm not alone with the I love you talk. That was immediately the first thing that came to mind lol.
I would also teach them what my hand signals mean for future communication after these 5 minutes are over.
I tell my cats I love them every day. Even the skittish one that hides bc he's scared of everything. I do it in an effort to make him know that I'm always thinking about him. He slow blinks at me in the small percentage of time that I actually do see him, so I figure it's doing something haha
But damn, that bit about the hand signals after the 5 minutes is over is just brilliant!
So you treat them with the feeling of superiority that they are 100% sure, you know that they ignore you when they let you do the signal dance over and over again?