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I had a similar experience on ketamine, and it's been so frustrating, because I want to explain but no words can explain it. I can't even say it was an experience I had because there was no concept of "I". It wasn't the case that I was "one with everything", because there was no I. I've been looking for the right words to describe what it was like, but it's just not possible to describe with words and concepts.
That’s EXACTLY the experience that I had as well. I wanted to call it ego death but that’s not the right term, and I’ve experienced ego death before on strong hallucinogens like DMT, 5-MeO-DiPT, DOX, 4-AcO-AMT, etc. Actually, I don’t think I hit ego death on 4Aces, but it was a crazy experience.
The One Time On Ket (TM) was different. There was no ego to die, and death wasn’t a concept. Concepts weren’t a thing. It also lasted a LONG time. I’m used to K lasting like a half hour for a small line, or 45 minutes for a hole. I was still very off two hours later. But the terror (if terror could have existed) was probably about 20-30 minutes at the peak, then I came back into a normal hole for a while.
I’m glad I experienced it once because I think it’s neat to experience the extremes of what the human brain is capable of… but NEVER AGAIN NOPE NO WAY. I’ll do some k, but I’m sticking with much less than hole doses.
Yes! "Concepts weren't a thing." This is for me the impossible thing to describe. In retrospect, I'm glad I had that experience, but I also say never again.
I’m so happy you understand what I mean! All my friends K-holed HARD but nobody understood what I was talking about after the fact. I did have a very low body weight at the time, so that might have affected that… but it was definitely… an… experience.