this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2025

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The best thing you can do for the fediverse is just be kind (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.

On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there's a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-

Be kind
Ask people what they think, and why
Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility (EDIT: no, this is not specifically referring to Nazis. I get it, they're the first thing that comes to mind. I'm not telling you to approve of Nazis I'm just saying be kind to your fellow lemmites)
Engage sincerely
Ask yourself if there's something nice you can say
Make this small space worth being in

A platform lives or dies by what's available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of "content" or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren't the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.

Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse's biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.

The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

That is a very specific interpretation of what I meant by this post.

To be perfectly honest, I really wasn't making the point you should approve of nazis. Just that maybe it's worth putting effort into being kind to one another...

For example, I constantly see leftists online biting eachother's heads off (including on lemmy) for having slightly different left-wing ideology. Its not like "approach people you disagree with with curiosity" means specifically actual neonazis, and approaching someone with curiosity doesn't mean telling people "your idea is correct and you're right for thinking it"

It means trying to understand it. You can dislike someone and still gain from better understanding their worldview. Even if you think it's harmful. Even if you think it's illogical. Even if you think they're wrong. Curiousity isn't tacit approval.

If you want to think about it cynically you can consider it creating allies and knowing your enemy.

All of that ignoring the fact that if you look around, this platform is almost exclusively left wing 😅 even if it includes folks left of center I don't agree with, like tankies and neoliberals (who yes, I know, are only left with respect of the US overton window. Thats where I'm from 🤷‍♂️)

I understand we disagree on certain things, that's okay, these are just my thoughts on the subject, and it's a profoundly important one, so I can appreciate why people would have different strongly held beliefs on it. Hope you have a good one :)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah that's a much too enlightened take for these parts it'll never fly.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Anger and fear are blinding if you let them be, especially if they're intensely justified.

Unfortunately we live in times where they're very justified. I don't begrudge people for reacting in anger or fear, I'm doing my best not to do exactly the same :(

Take care my friend.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

As so often, the answer is found in scripture:

One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?

"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"

WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.

"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?

"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it."

OH. WELL, THEN STOP.

At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.

Answer. I said answer. Not solution. Too much aspirin and your blood thins out and you need to move to Transylvania.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That took my brain a hot minute to process lol. Is that actually from something or did you just invent it on the spot? 😅

"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."

"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it.

"OH. WELL, THEN STOP.

Unironically wisdom we should all learn from. I can't stop for other people but I can at least choose how I act, and whether I contribute to that pain suffering and discord.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/book/1.php

[+] [email protected] -5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

[removed by mod]

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I can understand your anger, I'm in the same boat, but I really wasn't asking you to do that :( I was asking you to be kind to the people here. That you share this space with.

I wish I had left this list of examples in the original post where I had them at first

Compliment people's art and ask about their process

Teach people about something you're knowledgeable on

Give constructive criticism on peoples projects when it's welcome

Thank people for posting things you're glad you got to see, tell them you enjoyed it

Tell people you're glad they're here

Tell people you hope they have a good day

I moved them to a comment because I have a bad habit of being really long winded and I wanted people to actually read the whole post, but I think moving them and leaving "try to approach people you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility" prompted a lot of folks to interpret what I was saying as "tell the Nazis who want to debate your humanity that all their views are swell, actually"

What I meant is exactly what didn't happen in our interaction with eachother. I'm a queer leftist whose humanity is debated by the right. You don't completely agree with me and that's okay, but I'm not deserving of your hostility.

We may not see things exactly the same way but I care just as much about combating fascism as you do; everyone I love save for some of my family is a minority with a target on their back in the eyes of the current administration.

I wish I could have made it more clear what I meant. I've gotten lots of comments more or less insinuating that I'm encouraging we all complicit in the rise of fascism. And it's not a big percentage, but I'm still a human being who hears 12 people forcefully telling me that, and it doesn't feel great.

That's not what I'm advocating. I'm advocating that when you don't completely see eye to eye with someone, you ask them what they mean (and also lots of other things, like giving compliments and telling folks you appreciate their post, etc. etc. ect., but I feel like how to handle disagreement is the specific idea in question).

WE don't see exactly eye to eye. You and other commenters here don't see exactly eye to eye. And that's okay. Being willing to talk with them or me about what they think and why doesn't help the Nazis.

(Like I said I'm really long winded 🙃 sorry for the wall of text, I know it's not even the first one I've replied with to you specifically 😅)

[+] [email protected] -2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Personally I don't see calling people Russian bots/trolls or accepting harmful behaviour as the only available options.

I don't think the former is at all productive or helps anything, and the latter is completely unacceptable. But those aren't our only options when we decide how we want to engage with people we disagree with

and again, fascists are not the only people with whom disagreements happen on lemmy. We're literally disagreeing right now, if you called me a Russian bot I think that would be silly and unproductive. That's literally my whole point. Not everyone you disagree with is arguing in bad faith 🤷‍♂️

[+] [email protected] -1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I'm very familiar with and agree with the Nazi bar metaphor, and said as much in one of my very first comments I made in the discussion under this post. At no point have I advocated letting Lemmy be a Nazi bar. And we don't exactly have many fascists here compared to other platforms, Lemmy is almost exclusively leftists.

Being kind to your fellow lemmites is not making this platform a Nazi safe haven, it just makes it a social space actually worth spending time in.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I think you’re wasting your breath at this point. This McCarthyite’s views aren’t going to move an inch, and virtually no one else is going to see this conversation, because this thread is buried under the fold and the post is a day old.

It doesn’t matter that first they came for the communists, or that no one has shed more blood fighting fascists than communists. “Authoritarian” communists are fascists, case closed.