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What is a fair way to split costs when my girlfriend moves in? (I own the apartment) (lemm.ee)

submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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My girlfriend and I are planning to move in together in ~3 months.

I own a small apartment in Amsterdam, my mortgage, heating, water and electricity is about 2000 Euro a month, and I earn 30% more than she does.

Some context: Amsterdam is damn expensive and in an housing crisis, since living here she's been paying about 1000/m to rent a room. Both of us earn quite well and money isn't tight

What is a fair way to split costs? I've heard everything from she should live here for free because I was paying for everything anyway to we should split everything 50/50, and I'm not sure what is fair.

I don't think 50/50 is fair, because the way I see it, I'm going to get back a fair amount of the money I pay to my mortgage when I sell the apartment.

So what is fair? My gut feeling is something like we split the heating, electricity, groceries etc. 50/50. And she pays say 500 Euro a month for living here (less than half what she's used to paying in rent)

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

A car loses its value when you drive it off the lot because it’s a depreciating asset. That money doesn’t go to the bank or the owner. It just vanishes.

Besides, if your partner only helped pay the interest portion of the auto loan (which is what I’m proposing), the depreciating value of the car would be fully felt by you when you sell the car. They would just be out a few months of interest regardless of the sustained value of the car.

Homes typically increase in value or at least hold value. When you sell your home, you won’t get back any of the money you gave to the bank as interest, but in theory everything else including your down payment will be returned to you.

So to me it makes sense that while a partner is living with you and if they are committed to helping pay for utilities and whatnot, they can also contribute to the cost of living at the home. I believe helping to pay the interest is a fair and equitable way to do that.

I mean when you’re renting a place you’re more than likely helping the owner pay off their loan anyway. It’s just another step removed.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

When you sell your home, you won’t get back any of the money you gave to the bank as interest, but in theory everything else including your down payment will be returned to you.

and your partner would get nothing if she "bolted" even though she paid money so you could have it

I mean when you’re renting a place you’re more than likely helping the owner pay off their loan anyway. It’s just another step removed.

and you think thats fair??? "It's a bit like I'm the landlord and my partner is the tenant" is the argument I'm trying to make