this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
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Just wait, I'm sure soon a wild techbro will appear with a great solution to this problem that will require you to install an app and surrender all your data and biometrics in order to open those cases yourself to get a damn toothbrush or some shaving cream...
That's just a vending machine with extra steps.
Pretty on point for tech bros then - they keep "inventing" shit that already exists, but for some reason now requires an app, ~~blockchain~~ AI, or both (sorry, used an older buzzword first, but that one is already out of fashion).
If this happens I'm now personally blaming you.
Just send your ID in and they'll authorize Unlokr to let you buy your dish soap in peace.
AI surveillance cameras in 3...2,...1...
No wait this is fantastic, its probably going to be some stupid image generator that tries to generate what your face looks like when its partly obscured. We can all wear cheap paper masks of celebrities and let the AI camera turn that into a semi-convincing actual face instead! Who knew Mark Zuckerberg was a serial shoplifter across the entire US and Europe!?
Dun dun dun dun Dana da Suddenly a wild techbro appears! Your attack was super effective!