Ask Lemmy

27231 readers

2558 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected] or [email protected]

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

176

What did "that one" person do to you which made you cut them out of your life? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

152 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Or, alternatively, what did you do to another person which got you blacklisted from their life?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You're not alone in having this sort of story.

Speaking as someone else who survived an emotionally abusive relationship years ago (with gaslighting so successful that I had to start secretly recording our conversations on my phone to make sure they really happened the way I remembered and not the different story she would tell me later), successfully cut my ex out of my life and worked on myself, and am now happily in a truly wonderful and healthy marriage to an amazing person, congratulations on getting out.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm so damn happy to hear it worked out for you, that really gives me hope

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

It's an ongoing process. Therapy helps, as does a truly understanding partner.

When I started dating again, my past crappy experience ended up contributing to my now-wife and I hitting it off so well:

We both happened to have been through Some Shit before as these things go.
We shared understanding and sympathy about what it's like to be manipulated and treated poorly by toxic people.
We were both confident about what we were and were not interested in, and were comfortable asserting ourselves about our own needs as well as listening and accommodating one another's.
We were also both living independently and staying afloat on our own, so if our dating didn't work out ending the relationship wouldn't have cost either of us our home/job/etc. (In my abusive situation this had not been the case.)