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What are some dating mistakes you often see when people try seeking a partner? (kbin.melroy.org)

submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

82 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have a few.

One is abbreviation hell. Nobody is going to spend the time trying to decipher what you mean when you use over several abbreviations. It is just better if you'd explain than expecting people to understand aside from commonly used abbreviations that are easy to understand.

Another is overstepping your limits for the sake of getting a partner. Compromising your own standards is perhaps one of the worst things you can do when it comes to trying to find dates. Like you're suddenly okay with dating single parents but you don't like children. You're suddenly okay with dating religious people but you're not religious. Things like that. Because it means you're desperate and you're setting yourself up and setting them up for a bad date.

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[–] [email protected] 50 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Trying to be too serious too quick. You've gotta let the dopamine rush of the possibilities wear off before truly knowing if the person is a good fit.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This is a big one that I honestly still struggle with sometimes. I was on the opposite end of it for the first time earlier this year though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I think I'm on the opposite end now, myself. My walls have gotten too high. Any tips?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

I remember being on the receiving end of that, and this can actually be a good limit is test on compatibility regarding communication and boundaries. First step is to communicate that you feel it moving too fast. If the person is receptive and able to recalibrate without too much drama (it's understandable to get a little taken aback), that's a great sign. If their emotions go a little haywire, it might show signs of potential issues that may need to get worked out or that y'all aren't on the same page emotionally.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

Ooh, new relationship energy can be intoxicating. Then once it wears off the other person loses their gloss and you realize they don't like dogs and chew too loudly.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

For most people, yes. But me and my girlfriend talked kids, marriage and so on on our first date irl.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

You should be discussing what you want early and take your time before deciding that you'll do it together

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

You can and should talk about those things early on. But there's a difference between...

Do you want to have kids?

(which is about ensuring an alignment of values)

And...

What should we name our kids?

(which is trying to get too serious too quickly)