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This route appeals most to me. My first instinct was to contact the police immediately for the well-being of the girl and others, but then my son made a strong case for the retaliation he expects at school. To add to that he's already hesitant to seek help for things, always has been, and I worry that taking action he doesn't want will make him clam up even more.
So waiting awhile is a good plan, and I can probably get him onboard in that time. I'd like to be more proactive in helping the girl, so that bothers me, but since I'm forced to choose I have to look out for my boy.
Thank you for this idea. I wish you all the best in life.
No offense but if the people at your son's school are so disgusting that they'd retaliate for him reporting an underage girl's abuse then I would consider taking him out of that school anyway. I cannot imagine anyone at the school I went to when I was his age being that depraved, and I hated most of my schoolmates so I don't say that easily. That must be a school full of extra shitty kids that you don't want your son to be around.
Tell your son that not reporting this to police could put that girl's life in danger. He might be bullied at school, but she might end up dead. If he is so opposed to asking for help to the point of letting something like this continue then he could possibly use a few visits to a counselor to help him with that because it's an extremely unhealthy mindset to have. Imagine if it was HIM in her position, what would you want one of his older coworkers to do in that situation? Think very hard about that scenario and how it would make you feel.
I get the impression from OP's other comments that a lot of what's happening isn't ideal, and it's also not something they can change any time soon.
IMO, OP is struggling in a bad situation, with few options, and they're just trying to get by.
Not everyone is privileged enough to simply pull their kids out of one school and move them over to a better one. Some people just kind of have to deal with the hand they've been dealt, and make the best of it.
I believe OP is doing their best given their circumstances; and bluntly, I appreciate them for it. Keep doing your best OP.
These are teens, reporting to "the man" makes you a snitch. Doesn't matter the circumstances. I went to a very good high school (sports scholarships, and harvard graduates galore good) and this would definitely be seen that way there, so quality of school doesn't mean much.
I think this needs to be reported regardless. A young girls life may be at stake.
Scholarships and Harvard grads don't make a school or its students "good". Sounds like the kids at your school were just as horrid as the kids at the one OP's son goes to as well. My condolences. But where I lived I didn't know a single kid who thought reporting to the man made you a snitch if it saved an underage girl from being abused. Kids who did stuff like that were considered heroes. Not saying my school was full of saints, it wasn't, but they had standards. At least they weren't completely depraved of all humanity. I wouldn't want to keep my kid in a school that would bully someone just for saving a young girl.