Linuxsucks

I hate when a software package I use in my development career is open source. I try to find people to pay for a license and there is nobody to be found! Plus, good luck finding an offshore support line that'll forward you around to fifteen "support levels" and ask you for logs every ten minutes between Musak songs! Open source gives me the ability to see how the software is written and change it, and who wants to read all that garbage? I'm looking for a person to blame when things go wrong, not the ability to fix the problem myself!

Thanks non-FOSS for making it possible to spend my day how I want to: in endless email chains or on "mission-critical P1 priority blocker war room" team calls for hours!