this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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Hello. For context, I am in a university. I do not have any friends, and it feels like colleagues talk bad about me. This makes me quite hesitant to join any circles or attend seminars. I am not sure it is everyone who thinks bad about me though, I fear about asking. Yet I plan to do research, so I should attend seminars to learn current trends and stuffs. May I ask what I should do in such a situation? Are friends necessary, or not really? Also should I stop being in this environment and get a job instead? Thanks for reading lengthy paragraph, I would love any comments or advice for this.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It comes from that I hear people talking bad about me. Like, saying that I am a freak (or similar).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Unless you can think of what could've caused this, I suggest you attend the seminars. If someone there doesn't like you just because you're you, that's their problem.

You won't like everyone you'll ever meet. And not everyone you meet will like you. And sometimes there will be actual dislike in the mix. It's just how life is.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Hmm, another person commented here that attending seminar is like outsider acting like an insider. How do you think about it?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Wow. People can be so cruel. Have you heard them say why they feel this way?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No, I don't think they explain anything about why.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's savage. It's hard to address an issue if you don't know what it is. Any ideas?

People often dislike and fear what they don't understand. Self-care is really important, regular bathing and other hygiene (you're worth caring about). Also, walk with head high and shoulders back. Take up space. Use the central sidewalk, central doors. You're as worthy as anyone. To put it another way, don't dim your light so others seem brighter. If there are personal thought, word, deed habits that need addressing, be honest with yourself and address them. I don't know you, so I can't say.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Thanks! I suspect that it continues from my high school and uni days where I was belittled a lot. The momentum is hard to overcome. That said, that people talking bad about me right now can be an illusion.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You're very welcome. I just glanced at your post history. You're hella smart. Way smarter than me. I'm sure most of your posts are way over my head, but I think we should stretch for our reach to exceed our grasp. Thus, I'm "following" you. Maybe I'll learn from you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Thanks for kind words, I'd say my smartness is just that I took tons of time to learn. You can learn lots of knowledge given time, even math! Tho indeed, not everyone has time for learning, so it is okay to not know something! :)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

You're very welcome. Thank you for your kindness, as well. I look forward to any future interactions.