this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
315 points (97.3% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26968 readers
1490 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

One that comes to mind for me: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is not always true. Maybe even only half the time! Are there any phrases you tend to hear and shake your head at?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"This too shall pass" when faced with a hurdle but a "savor this moment" when something is supposedly good. If only life worked that way, you wouldn't ever be complaining.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm with you on "this too shall pass". My family uses this like it's their damn catchphrase and while I'm sure the intentions are good, sometimes I would like validation when I complain about my life being a shit show, not just an idle 'this too shall pass'. Might as well have just shrugged and walked away.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What would you like to hear in those moments instead of "this shall pass"? I find myself always in trouble when something like that happens: I want to be there for someone but it's not easy and I feel awkward

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I think if I come at you with the express purpose of venting, then just some validation is really all I'm looking for, personally. A "that sounds hard" or "dang, dealing with X sounds rough". Things like that make me feel like you're actually listening and like I'm okay to feel so frazzled about whatever is happening.

Another approach that I think is good is asking whether or not whoever is talking to you wants validation, or solutions. I'm guilty of always offering solutions when people want to just vent and be heard, so that's always a good stop gap.

But I absolutely understand how awkward it can be trying to be there for someone and, of course, your results may vary. Still, communication gets us everywhere!