this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
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Every guy: shit it's so difficult to find sex, love, companionship, or any of the above, it's actually depressing
Every girl: just be yourself lol idk all that stuff just naturally is available to me
I was literally the every guy in the comment then this past week I went to a totally new type of music festival and got out of my comfort zone and I have a prospective new friendship/relationship already and made tons of new friends to make plans with for the winter! Sometimes it just takes getting out of your comfort zone, but as a super socially anxious person, I know how hard that can be.
It's been a couple decades since I heard anyone say "just be yourself" as a message for how to take someone to bed. From a practical standpoint, either find a professional to employ, or hit the bar scene and don't give up, and you'll probably meet success.
Another piece of advice, if you're not only looking for sex, is to try to do things that will make you a better version of yourself 2 years from now. Whether that's going to the gym or volunteering or getting a part-time job or walking the dog more, whatever it is, that's something everyone can decide for themselves.
I think everyone knows that if you aren't getting action now, and you keep doing the same things tomorrow, you probably won't get any action then either. But this all gets conflated when people mix sex and love together, when they really want one of the two but won't bother to tell us which one.
Hell, I AM just looking for sex and I'm still trying to improve myself. It's just a good thing to do in general.
Says the people that tell you to hit the gym because you are unacceptable.
When people say "be yourself" they mean don't fake your personality. You can be genuine about your personality while still putting forth an effort to improve yourself physically.
I mean you should also always be putting in effort to improve yourself emotionally and intellectually as well.
If the comment I was replying to mentioned something related to emotional/intellectual growth then I would've mentioned those.
People have low tolerance for being anxious and lacking confidence. You just get walked over or declared safe to be shitty to as soon as social weakness is seen.