this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2024
283 points (99.0% liked)

The Onion

4563 readers
788 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Quarterly? Weekly more like.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"This week we're taking your workflow and completely changing it because we felt like it. Please keep the same productivity even though we added 20 unnecessary steps and 12 redundant steps."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"This week insert managerial circle-jerking recap that has nothing to do with the day to day operation"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

"This week we, as management, scheduled back to back meetings with each other about what meetings we'd have in order to plan how we will strategize future company changes. This makes us feel valuable and productive and justify making a magnitude more money than you. Thanks for your hard work!"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Or different managers in the company each send a weekly newsletter to all employees. Additional to the Did-you-see-this-shit-on-our-comporate-social-media-platform mails, for which I don't know any colleague, that actually reads them.