Not the Onion

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For news articles which seem so much like satire that you're surprised they're not from The Onion.

Rules
  1. Headlines must exactly match the articles'.
  2. Posts must be genuine news articles, not satire, opinion, or tabloid pieces.
  3. News must be current.
  4. Popular political, religious, or social views are not Oniony, no matter how ridiculous you may think them.

founded 1 year ago
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listing: all - local
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The Onion wins Alex Jones' Infowars in bankruptcy auction (www.nbcnews.com)
submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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American Woman Tears Down Greek Flags Mistaking Them for Israeli (greekreporter.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Forest Service Won't Blow Up Dead Horses Due To Fire Danger (cowboystatedaily.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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Woman Who Sued Company for Not Giving Her a Farewell Card Finds Out They Did Buy a Card But Almost No One Signed It (www.latintimes.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
20 comments fedilink
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French President Emmanuel Macron Vows to Fight to Keep "Emily in Paris" Filming in France, Says Emily in Paris in Rome Doesn't Make sense (www.tvfandomlounge.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
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In Queens, N.Y., an immigrant street vendor is forced to confront crippling shyness (www.npr.org)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Ukraine not to renew Russian gas transit agreement (news.az)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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P. Diddy promises to 'ban women from his home' if he's released from jail (www.irishstar.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
8 comments fedilink
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Man discovers he’s been paying wrong utility bill for up to 18 years (www.kold.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
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Omnipresent AI cameras will ensure good behavior, says Larry Ellison (arstechnica.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Eating ice lollies 'should be part of school curriculum', experts urge (news.sky.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Chris Jones offers to pay $1.5 million to cover stolen chicken wings (www.nbcsports.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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'Zionism behind this': After disputed election result, Maduro blames Jews for Venezuelan crises (www.firstpost.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
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Okaloosa County suspect in spider’s death arrested (www.wkrg.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

An Okaloosa County woman was arrested Monday after she allegedly drowned her roommate’s pet spider, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office.

According to an OCSO Facebook post, 43-year-old Ilena Renae Rasmussen of the Crestview area admitted she drowned her roommate’s pet jumping spider in ginger ale on July 15 at a home on Pansy Avenue. Prichard, Mobile County officials vow to end gang violence after 3 shootings within hours The pet jumping spider reportedly cost $70, and the owner could not find the spider or its enclosure.

Rasmussen faces misdemeanor animal cruelty and petty theft charges.

https://archive.ph/MYzPg

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Family court judge rules on twins' existence (www.bbc.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Woman caught with drugs in bag labeled 'Bag of Drugs' (inshort.geartape.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
27 comments fedilink
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Looking sharp: Italian gymnastics silver medalist sponsored by Parmesan cheese (abcnews.go.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
7 comments fedilink
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Baby bird rescued in Texas Panhandle wrapped in a warm tortilla until wildlife experts arrived (www.khou.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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South Korean airport authorities crack down on Trader Joe’s bagel seasoning (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
3 comments fedilink
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John Hinckley Jr. says ‘violence is not the way’ after Trump shooting (thehill.com)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

John Hinckley Jr., the man who shot former President Reagan in a failed assassination attempt, denounced violence in the wake of the attempted assassination of former President Trump last weekend.

“Violence is not the way to go. Give peace a chance,” Hinckley wrote Wednesday on social platform X.

https://archive.ph/n6oxq

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Bronny James is the biggest winner of NBA Summer League (at the Call of Duty video game tournament) (ftw.usatoday.com)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Police hunt mayor accused of being Chinese spy (www.bbc.com)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
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Mom visiting son in juvenile detention cited for candy theft (www.kait8.com)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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Mayor Adams unveils city's first official trash bins (ny1.com)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
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French cyclist fined after stopping to kiss his wife at the Tour de France (www.cnn.com)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
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