Hmm, none of them except maybe expanse fits to me, I read the whole series as it came out, and it was decent, I liked the different genre for each book schtick that they were doing.
I'm not much for the depressing and horror stuff, I need optimistic happy stuff with good people being good to each other. The world is shitty enough as it is.
The hyperion is hyped up so much by pretensious people that I just never wanted to read it. I did go in that trap with the Banks books, I thought there must be something I'm missing, since so many people love them, but I just never did.
Can confirm, am Norwegian and love freshly harvested potatoes :)