sicarius

True detective

I feel like Nick Offerman would be a good choice to play him in a movie.

You've missed out the Scottish snow badger. Like the regular European badger but about a third larger and completely white to blend into their (now disappearing) snowy highland habitats.
They are the sole reason hard plastic shell ski boots were invented after it was found that snow badgers have no problem biting through the old leather ski boots we used to use.
They hibernate through the summer months and only come out to hunt during the winter so it's very hard to get a photo of them.

He had previously ran to ask the Spartans for help on the battle but they wouldn't leave until after sine festival or something. So he then ran to the battle, fought, then ran back to Athens to tell everyone because a ship had slipped past the battle on its way to Athens and if it got back before their army the enemy would just say they won and sacked Athens. The Guy is a machine.

I think it was the wordsmith Scroobius pip that wrote that lyric

That is how you spell pheonix and I don't care what the Oxford English dictionary or anyone else says.

Don't skip neck day!

The hero yoshihiko for anyone wondering what the show is.

I was sat at home alone one night, have my first joint in months. Sat at back door looking out into the woods and think I can hear a girl sobbing. I must be stoned as hell. Then I clearly hear some girl shouting help me! In my pyjamas and Crocs I up and run off into the woods.
While running through the woods my stoned brain says to me if I were planning an ambush, this is what I'd do.
Shut up brain.
Find a young woman sobbing in the pitch darkness off the path in the woods.
Calllm her down. She had an argument with her boyfriend and he took her phone and left her in the woods, she doesn't know where she is.
I offer to drive her to the hotel she says she's staying at.
Halfway there I see the cops coming out of the station and flag them down, they were just on their way out to look for this girl.
I tell them what happened and they said I could be on my way.
Thank fuck as I was too high to be talking to cops.
Turns out that girl and her boyfriend work at the hotel with my mate, he says this happens once a week, her boyfriend had in fact not taken her phone she had it all along, he just walked off when she started causing drama again.

I'm waiting for the "it's always sunnyvale trailer park" crossover.

And if my grandmother had wheels she'd be a bike