Feelin very projected into a subspace rn /j
Hey I wasn't the first one in this thread to bring up kinks! So don't blame me for that. ๐
While we're on the subject of kinks... are we doing the "speak nerdy to me!" bit yet?
Semivir
joined 7 months ago
I'm binary, but I feel that this is largely because I am a child of the era I was raised in and because of the binary experience of my physical dysphoria.
That's an interesting take, and I'm sure it's not something we can put a pin in without watching an entire new generation of people grow up with a different concept of gender identity out there. Curious to see what time will teach us.
I don't have a relationship with masculinity or femininity, and find them both of confusing. I resented both of them as a child and young adult, and just assumed that everyone felt trapped by them.
Sometimes it just be like that. I'd tell you "it is what it is", but a certain meme told me I'm running out of those. Definitely interesting to see how social constructs are experienced in such a different way by different people. Guess the binary representation never made sense in the first place, since there's also a cultural aspect to what is represented in the concept either male or female, making it impossible to define universally. But we're still a long ways away from a world where none of that matters anymore.
Interesting to read your perspective on romance vs. sexuality. Confirms to me that the way we love or make love is definitely as diverse as our collective gender identities are. And hey, you get to pick the lucky individual(s) eligible to date you. So if feeling queer is part of what makes you happy, any potential partner has a responsibility to make you feel as queer as possible.
I'm an extroverted and proud queer! My social circles are almost entirely neurodivergent and/or queer folk
I'm sure there's a venn diagram in there somewhere!
Thanks for sharing! Sad to hear the bar is so low and your community still can't get their shit together. When is the world going to learn it's the transphobic bigots we should be afraid of?!
Any amount of labels changing around is lilely a sign that the labels themselves are a shit representation (which, coincidentslly is also why there are so many of them). The entire point of this post was to give people some space to express the "ifs and buts" of their identities, which you've done a great job at.
Wow, thanks so much for sharing this! Truly beautiful and inspiring to read.
I think I get the whole fuckable friends part, even though it doesn't quite work that way for me. You already share a certain bond of friendship, trust or intimacy to a certain degree. So I see how that could open up the door for things to progress beyond platonic.
Alignment of kinks is probably more important for a healthy sex life than most people realise, and at least from my experience compromise never works out in the long term.
Your story on confidence, self-esteem and becoming more outgoing definitely hits home, as I imagine it will for many here. I used to be pretty outgoing as a kid, but high school and a combination of factors changed that dramatically. Reaching emotional maturity earlier than my peers, HSP and witnessing the sheer evil early teens are capable of all around me turned me into the quiet kid that somehow managed to stand out. Kinda hard to be outgoing when you don't quite trust or like anyone around you. New environments and fresh starts definitely help out though, and studying was definitely the tipping point. I've been clawing my way back to my childhood self-esteem ever since. And I'm proud to say I'm getting there.
All in all happy to hear you managed a way to stop denying yourself the attention you deserve, as this post proves you're worth listening to. Definitely going to take some inspiration from your story.
Oh and now I need this magic PH lipstick, where can I get some?
Nah, society is just a bunch of idiots smashing rocks together, and we all stare at the ones with the biggest or the shiniest rocks. That does not mean your enjoyment of playing with sticks is invalid.
And this is in no way an attempt to put people into discrete boxes. The body might fit for most, but then there's the pesky tail that sticks out. It's those quirks that make us unique that I'm after here, and testing the limits of your model is one way to do it.
The beauy of n-dimensional space is that you can just add dimensions if you feel like you're being projected into lower-dimensional space and details get lost in translation.
But there's also the thing where the act of taking a measurement affects the thing being measured, so "n-ball of uncertainty" is perfectly fine!
"Wait, do you mean literally, or figuratively?"
Yes.
Thanks for your reply! I love your take on finding beauty in both sides, seems like letting go of a need to be one or the other might feel freeing in a way.
Would you say that sexuality and romantic preferences are more connected for you specifically, or are there still differences? For me there's a clear difference between sexual and romantic attraction. And it would make sense that there is some difference for pansexual or panromantic people as well. To put it bluntly, would the answer to "Fuck and Marry" be the same person, or would they be different? (We don't kill people here).
And does your intention to put yourself out there more as an introverted person stem from something more? For me, there was a clear goal of combating shyness and improving self-esteem that made me put myself into more social situations. And I felt like I deserve to reap the benefits of having more developed social skills every once in a while.
If you feel any of these things are too sensitive, or personal to talk about, just know that catgirls are naturally curious and will not hold it against you if you draw the line somwhere.
How does that work if you've only been a hot girl for half of your life? Asking for a friend of course.
As a model for infinitely unique human characteristics that can be plotted along several different dimensions, the vector representation makes a lot of sense.
But as with anything that models reality, some of the nuance is lost because we can't feasibly infinitely detail the model for it to still be a useful representation.
So no, you're not crazy for framing gender as a vector space, you're just a huge nerd. ๐
(Edit: Now complete the assignment! [glares at you from a distance])
Probably not the person you might want answering this, but I'll share my two cents anyway:
I believe men are somehow shit outta luck if not conforming to the strong, tall, muscular, athletic and handsome ideal that seems to be peak masculinity. Although there seems to be an improvement on that front. Further normalising the androgynous look is going to help a lot of transmasc people feel less anxiety about passing. Not in the least because some of these aspects about the general beauty standard for men are unrealistic, even for cis men.
As for me, I'm more than happy to contribute to normalise the androgynous look. I've never been happier with my appearance than since I've been experimenting with incorporating more feminine traits. Growing my hair out, getting a more feminine haircut, dyeing my hair, braiding my hair, removing body hair, styling eyebrows, that sort of thing. Oh, and most important of all, just doing all of this while never elaborating on it. It's always just "hey this is my new thing, I will not be taking questions on this".
I feel like men should not be denied those sorts of thing while still being considered men. And all of us should be free to pursue our own beauty standards. Now to make society submit to those truths...
you're right btw about romania being hostile to queer ppl, mostly the older folk
Most eastern European countries follow the same blueprint of the elderly being exremely conservative. The youngsters are usually damaged in a way where they are more tolerant, but have some weird homo-/transphobic tendencies. And then there's people like you who are just trying to live their lives the way they feel they should. Never give up on that!
Now I don't presume to know what kind of relationship you have with your parents. But judging from some of the stories I've seen on this community alone, taking away hormones is probably not even close to the most damaging thing your parents could do to you. So I might be blowing things way out of proportion here, but just in case: Be absolutely sure they're not going to kick you out to the streets or otherwise put you in danger before you're in a position where you being a minor no longer impacts your life.
Also don't underestimate what the hormones will do to your body. Two whole years is a lot of time for changes to take effect, including things you might not be able to hide as easily. Two years is a long time to keep a secret from your immediate family, and there are probably going to be moments where simply "boymoding" is not going to cut it.
Then there's the leaving the country part, which is likely not going to be a magic solution either. The good news is that you have two years to research everything you need to know in order to find some safety in your life. And I hate to say it, but financial security is going to be a big part of that, as it allows you more freedom to avoid places that are regretably not safe for trans folk. The harsh reality is that this becomes exponentially easier if you're either talented or highly educated, since most of the safer countries will more readily hand out work visa to those more beneficial to the local economy and job market.
Don't get the wrong idea, definitely not trying to talk you out of your plans! Just trying to make sure you're several steps ahead and have planned for all sorts of situations. So the common denominator in all of this is "make sure you're prepared and keep planning ahead".
Other than that I wish you all the best, and good luck on your journey.
I do admit, the title is actually kinda clickbaity in hindsight. Probably could've done better.
Went to IMDB to look it up and the front page featured a spotlight of the new Joker movie (starring... you guessed it!). Movie seems interesting, definitely going to watch sometime soon!
Sometimes less is more. xD
Yeah, no harm in making some friends. Issue is just "where do you start?", dream is to be magically adopted into a nice friend group, but things just don't work like that usually. Or at least they don't when you're sober.
Hypothetically, if you had unlimited options with infinite success rates, what kind of friends would you add to your social circle first? Girl friends, guy friends, trans friends, enby friends, neurodivergent friends, nerd friends, or any other brand of friends I haven't listed?
Would definitely offer you my friendship application! If you feel like chatting, DM me and I'll send you my matrix details.